Life as a mechanic

I'm not impressed.

2012-01-07T18:47:00.012-06:00

I control on the Vatsim network and am currently rated as a C1 (en-route) controller. For those of you not familiar with Vatsim, it's a place where virtual pilots can fly and interact with virtual controllers. To those of us who would love to fly or control in real life and will never have the chance, Vatsim is a wonderful place. We can satisfy our addiction to aviation with people in similar situations. Unfortunately, there's a huge problem within Vatsim that is both the cause of its popularity and the cause of angry controllers. All a pilot has to do to join the network is sign up with a valid ISP based (not Hotmail, Yahoo, Gmail etc) email account. There are regulations, of course, such as the Code of Conduct, Code of Regulations and Pilot Requirements, but those documents are not required reading. There are too many pilots who sign up, keep clicking the "next" button and then pop onto the network having no clue what they're doing. A simple check box at the end of each document, each of which would need to be checked during the sign-up process, could solve a whole lot of problems. It hasn't been done. At the very least, a pilot should have to verify that they have read and agreed to the pilot requirements. It's a very short document that outlines simple things such as requiring pilots to be able to maintain an altitude and heading, follow ATC instructions, not to join a live session with their aircraft on a runway etc. Each batch of new pilots seems to get worse. Vatsim is a learning environment and generally speaking, controllers are willing to help new pilots. However, it requires the cooperation of the pilot. A pilot needs to have a certain base of skills in order to have any chance of being successful. I can't tune their radio for them, I can't fly their aircraft for them, I can't tune their transponder for them, etc. When I joined Vatsim I already possessed a thorough background in aviation (virtually speaking), but I read all of the documents and made sure I would be able to hold up my end of the stick. I knew I would have no problems flying or navigating, but I had never interacted with a controller before and was very nervous. My first flight was a disaster. I panicked because I couldn't understand the controller due to my lack of knowledge regarding the tool that enables pilots and controllers to communicate. But, I learned from it, came back another day and had a successful flight. We controllers expect pilots to make mistakes resulting from situations they never considered could happen. Having voice communication issues? Not a problem, we'll just communicate via text and if I have time I'll try and help solve the voice comm issues. Don't have any idea how to fly a route by any means other than direct via GPS? Not a problem. I can suggest some simple things you can do that will allow you to fly a basic VOR to VOR route or I can direct you to some websites that teach aerial navigation. I can even direct new pilots to websites that will generate routes for them. There's all sorts of issues that can crop up, but controllers are equipped to handle them. A pilot still has to be able to fly their aircraft and follow instructions. As I mentioned before, the state of the recent crop of pilots isn't very good. But, what about the controllers?

Unlike pilots, controllers can't simply join Vatsim and start controlling. There are a multitude of controller ratings and new controllers start at the very bottom and have to work their way up. The rating structure is as follows

OBS (Observer). Controller may only observe air traffic control. They are not allowed to work active positions
S1 (Student 1 or GND). They are only allowed to staff Ground or Clearance Delivery positions.
S2 (Student 2 or TWR). They are allowed to staff airport control tower positions or lower (i.e. Ground or Clearance Delivery)
S3 (Student 3 or APP). They are allowed to staff radar Approach/Departure positions or lower.
C1 (Controller 1 or CTR). They are allowed to work en-route control or lower. This is generally the highest the average "Joe" will get.
Misc. ratings. I1 and I3 are C1 or C3 controllers who are allowed to instruct student controllers. SUP are supervisors. C3 is Senior Controller. Vatsim staff ratings are many and are divided by division, region and BoG (Board of Governors). Typical call signs would be something like VATUSA12 (the number denotes their position within their facility), VATNA1, VATUK4, VATGOV8 etc.

A newly minted controller starts with the rating OBS (Observer). They can only watch air traffic and are not allowed to work an active position or interact with air traffic in any way. The new controller must first take the basic ATC test and pass it before moving on. The basic test includes questions about airspace structure, what each position does etc. Once a pilot passes this first test, they're assigned to the region, division and facility of their choosing. Once at their facility they will begin training for the next rating of S1 (Student 1, or Ground/Delivery controller). During this training process the new controller works with an instructor (I1 or I3 rating). When the instructor is satisfied with the students progress, the student is assigned to take the S1 exam. If the student passes, they are given their S1 rating and are allowed to staff an active GND or DEL position. This can vary by facility. Sometimes newly rated controllers are only allowed to work the "quieter" airports until they gain some experience working with actual pilots on the network.

After a certain time, the S1 will start training for the next rating of S2. It is the same process they experience while learning about S1. It only involves different training material geared toward working a TWR position. Once the student passes the S2 exam, they are allowed to work live TWR (example BOS_TWR) positions. Vatsim offers what is called "top down" control services. Each controller position, in addition to working their current position, provides services for each position below them if they're not staffed. With our BOS_TWR example TWR not only provides TWR services to pilots, they also provide clearance delivery and ground services for that airport if those positions are not staffed. From the pilot's perspective, when they have filed their flight plan and are ready to get clearance to fly that plan, they would normally look to see of BOS_DEL is online. If not, they are supposed to look for BOS_GND. If GND is not online, they should look for BOS_TWR. BOS_TWR being online will provide flight plan clearance and taxi instructions in addition to the duties of BOS_TWR (mainly take off and landing clearance). The
S2 rating is a controllers first experience with multitasking and can be a bit bewildering until they gain experience. The S2 rating is also, usually, the first time a controller must pass an OTS (Over The Shoulder) test in addition to the written test. The OTS is supervised by an instructor and the controller is watched to make sure they're capable of handling live traffic.

The S3 rating is next. The jump from TWR to APP/DEP is the biggest challenge for most Vatsim controllers. As an S1 and S2, the controller was only working one airport. As an S3, they are responsible for all airports within their TRACON (Terminal Radar Approach CONtrol). The S2 working towards S3 generally has the most trouble with vectoring aircraft onto approaches separating aircraft, sequencing aircraft and figuring out how to handle pilots calling them for services at a multitude of airports, both controlled and uncontrolled. The same "top down" procedure is followed. Delivery, ground and tower services at each airport within the controllers airspace. The student usually doesn't realize what they're in for. I passed the S3 written exam with flying colors, but failed miserably during my first simulated sessions (no live traffic, just bots on a training simulator) and also botched my first OTS. The student can only be prepared so much. Live traffic is the only real way for the student to gain experience which allows them to figure out how to deal with the situations they'll encounter. When they're ready, the Student is allowed to work TRACONs on their own. Most controllers get an immense feeling of satisfaction upon earning their S3 rating and being allowed to work without supervision.

The last rating most controllers will work for is the coveted C1. The jump from S3 to C1 isn't very difficult. The only major challenge is learning to deal with such a large airspace, alone if there are no other controllers working lower positions. Being able to work a CTR position such as ATL_CTR is a reason to be proud, and rightly so. The road a controller takes from OBS to C1 is a long one. It's easy for some, difficult for others but unless the controller is really bad, most make it to C1.

So, as you may see, controllers on Vatsim are trained to deal with air traffic and must earn their ratings by proving they can meet the standards set by Vatsim. Generally speaking, controllers get better as they gain experience. Some don't, but most do. But what about pilots?

Pilots on Vatsim can generally be expected to know what they're doing. Most will not file a flight plan or fly an aircraft that they are not capable of flying. It's almost like a real world student pilot. Start simple and work up the ladder. There are exceptions. Since there are no pilot ratings (there is a P1 rating so far, but it's only a voluntary program) a new pilot who couldn't hand fly a Cessna 172 can jump into a 747 and fly around. Usually with disastrous results which causes much stress for the controller. When the pilot just goes ahead and does what they want regardless of controller instructions, it will make the controller quite angry. The new pilot has no idea that they might be in the way of other aircraft, or that their incessant use of long-winded transmissions is blocking the controller from giving another pilot important instructions. Here's a typical conversation between a controller (we'll use an ATL_CTR controller) and a clueless pilot who has decided to connect to the network with their 747 sitting on an active runway. We'll begin with the pilot cutting in on the controllers current transmission to another pilot.

N1975: Atlanta tower request take off.

CTR: Last aircraft calling ATL_CTR, say call sign and position.

N1975: request takeoff clearance.

CTR: American 123 turn right heading 2 *N1975 cuts in again*

N1975: Tower do you hear me?

CTR: Last aircraft calling, this is Atlanta Center, not Atlanta Tower. Say call sign and position.

N1975: Center I am at Kilo Alpha Tango Lima airport request take off

CTR: Last aircraft calling from Atlanta, say callsign.

N1975: N1975.

CTR: N1975, ATL_CTR. You have no flight plan in the system. Please resend your flight plan. *controller goes to a local view of KATL*

CTR: N1975, you are blocking an active runway, please move your aircraft to an appropriate parking space and resend your fl *N1975 butts in again*

N1975: I am going to Houston.

CTR: N1975, Roger. I still need you to send me a flight plan. Again, please move your aircraft off of the active runway.

[N1975 finally moves off the runway and blocks the most commonly used taxiway to the active runway. At least he's off the damn runway.]

CTR: N1975 I'm still waiting for your flight plan.

N1975: Roger tower, I have resent my plan.

[Flight plan is a mess. IFR to KHOU GPS direct, cruise altitude 5,000, Boeing 747-400. The leading the pilot by the hand begins now.]

CTR: N1975, cruise altitude incorrect for direction of flight. Can you accept 10,000?

N1975: Center, I filed 5,000 feet.

CTR: N1975, I see that but flights to the west require even cruise altitudes such as 6,000 8,000 10,000 etc. Houston is to the west of your current position.

N1975: Roger I will take 10,000

[now to see if they can fly to/from at least a couple of VORS]

CTR: N1975 do you know how to use the "direct to" button on your GPS receiver?

N1975: Roger tower (keeps calling the controller different things).

CTR: N1975 I'm going to give you two way points for you to fly. Use the direct function to fly to the first, when you cross over it, use the direct function again to fly to the second.

N1975: Roger. Ready for take off.

CTR: N1975, I have not issued your clearance yet. Hold at your current position until told to do otherwise. Advise ready to copy your clearance.

N1975: Roger.

[minutes pass by]

CTR: N1975, advise ready to copy your clearance.

N1975: Ready to copy center.

CTR: N1975 cleared to KHOU via direct MGM, direct BTR (expecting this idiot to follow vectors is pointless at this time) maintain 5,000 expect 10,000 ten minutes after departure. departure frequency will be 121.35. Squawk 1234.

N1975: Roger.

CTR: N1975, you need to read your clearance back to me so I know you understand it.

N1975: Cleared to KHOU with squawk direct, N1975 (first time pilot used their call sign. A miracle!)

CTR: N1975, cleared to KHOU via direct MGM, direct BTR (expecting this idiot to follow vectors is pointless at this time) maintain 5,000 expect 10,000 ten minutes after departure. departure frequency will be 121.35. Squawk 1234.

N1975: Copy Center. REady for take off.

CTR: N1975, your clearance is not valid until you read it back to me. I will not let you proceed until you read the clearance back to me.

[by now the pilot is beginning to realize how unprepared they are, that the controller is losing his patience and needs to start following instructions. Or they disconnect from the network or just start flying all on their own. If they start flying on their own, not following instructions, I'll find a supervisor and get them to handle the situation. It usually results in the pilot being kicked off the network.]

N1975: Cleared to KHOU as filed maintain 5,000 squawk 1324. N1975.

CTR: N1975 confirm squawk code 1234.

N1975: Squawk 1234.

CTR: Read back correct. KATL altimeter 29.95. Advise ready to taxi. (Pilot doesn't know what ATIS is, much less think of letting you know they've listened to it.)

N1975: Center, ready for taxi. N1975.

CTR: N1975, runway 8R taxi via E, E1.

N1975: Roger center.

CTR: N1975, you need to read back instructions. A "Roger" is not good enough.

N1975: Center repeat taxi instructions. N1975.

[*forehead slap* There's just no end to this pilot's stupidity. The best you can hope for is that these idiots will disconnect before they ever get this far. To be honest, if the pilot is oblivious to even the basic rules of flight, I'll be hard-nosed with the intention of making them disconnect. Problem solved.]

CTR: N1975, runway 8R taxi via E, E1. HOLD SHORT of runway 8R. (competent pilots know that they're supposed to hold short of ANY runway unless being explicitly told to cross/enter it. To avoid more problems than already present, new pilots get told to HOLD SHORT of their departure runway otherwise, they'll just taxi right onto it and start rolling).

N1975: Taxi via E, E1 to runway 8R.

CTR: N1975, you are required to read back hold short instructions.

N1975: Say again for N1975. (See the trend here? A pencil and piece of paper solves all sorts of problems. Write down instructions.)

CTR: N1975, for the third time, Runway 8R taxi via E, E1. HOLD SHORT runway 8R.

N1975: Taxi to 8R via E, E1. Hold short 8R.

[Thank God! He's got it. But wait, there's more.]

N1975: REquest progressive taxi.

CTR: N1975, Look at your airport diagram (he doesn't have one obviously, but it's a nudge to them that maybe they should get one). You are currently on E, facing East. The sign for E1 should be at your 11 o'clock and in plain view. (What I want to say is "How stupid are you? You started on 8R and moved just off of it ten minutes ago. You actually expect me to believe that you can't find your way BACK to 8R? You're a fucking idiot!)

N1975: Roger.

[Our clueless pilot begins to move, blows right past E1 even though it was right under his nose and before the controller knows it, the pilot is at the other end (26L).]

N1975: Center N1975 ready for take off.

CTR: N1975, you were assigned runway 8R, you are at 26L. Turn around and taxi to 8R via E, E1. You can find airport diagrams here (inserts URL for pilot).

[normally a pilot this bad will make all sorts of mistakes before finally getting into the air, but we'll give this clown the benefit of the doubt. Again.]

N1975: Center ready for take off.

CTR: Last aircraft calling for take off, say callsign *nudge, nudge*

N1975: N1975 ready for take off.

CTR: N1975 runway 8R wind 090 at 05. After departure turn right heading 110. Cleared for take off.

N1975: Roger.

CTR: N1975 what did I say about reading back instructions?

N1975: Cleared for takeoff, N1975.

CTR: N1975, after departure turn right heading 110. (he won't)

N1975: heading 110, N1975.

[Pilot manages to get a 747 fully loaded with fuel for a short trip off the ground. Immediately starts going direct KHOU.]

CTR: N1975 say altitude leaving.

N1975: 2,500 N1975.

CTR: N1975 radar contact. What was your assigned heading after departure?

N1975: We were assigned 110. N1975

CTR: N1975, and what heading are you flying now?

N1975: 250, N1975.

CTR: N1975, were you instructed to fly something other than heading 110?

N1975: No.

CTR: N1975, in the future, follow your assigned headings and stay on it until told to do otherwise.

N1975: Roger.

[pilot has by now blown through the initial altitude assignment of 5,000]

CTR: N1975, what was your assigned initial altitude assignment, which I might add, you received in your clearance and read back to me?

[pilot didn't write anything down and is simply parroting instructions without being able to understand them, much less thinking to let the controller know they don't understand something.]

CTR: N1975, your initial altitude assignment was 5,000. You are now at 8,400 and have not been told to climb higher than your initial altitude as of yet.

CTR: N1975 climb and MAINTAIN 10,000. Proceed direct MGM.

N1975: REquest vectors.

CTR: N1975, use the direct to function to fly direct to MGM. You informed me that you knew how to use the direct to function.

N1975: direct MGM, N1975.

[At this time, the controller is on the land line with the next CTR controller letting them know that this pilot is a total and complete moron. N1975 finally gets pointed towards MGM. Ground speed indicating 520 knots because, of course, the thrust levers are all the way forward. Upon next contact with the pilot, the "click, click, click..." of the over speed warning can be heard in the background.]

CTR: N1975, maximum airspeed below 10,000 feet is 250 knots indicated. Reduce airspeed to 250 knots or lower until reaching 10,000.

N1975: Roger.

[Pilot didn't read anything back, but at this point the only thing the controller wants is for this idiot to get the hell out of his airspace.]

CTR: N1975, contact Houston Center 125.40

[no response]

CTR: N1975, contact Houston Center 125.40

N1975: Roger.

Now, wasn't that just lovely? Could you sense the controller's frustration? Could you see how unprepared the pilot was? Now imagine having to deal with this idiot while also working with 20 other aircraft on the ground and in the air. Can you understand why it should be necessary for pilots to have read the pilot requirements document and code of conduct? Controllers expect to help pilots every now and again, but as you have read, this pilot needed to be led by the hand through every part of his flight. The pilot's arrival at KHOU will be just as frustrating to Houston center, approach, tower and ground. Regulations prevent controllers from telling pilots that they're fucking stupid, but believe me, if a pilot thinks things are going well even though they're completely clueless, they have another thing coming. Every controller along the pilot's route will know how much of an idiot they are. We'll all remember their name and call sign, too. If I know some of these fucktards are coming to my airspace, sometimes I'll sign off until they're gone. They need to learn, but the frustration and stress of teaching them is just not worth it. I worked hard to get my C1 rating, I should be able to hold pilots to some very basic standards. But I can't. As a matter of fact, I would like to be controlling now, but there's too many new pilots flying through the airspace and I just don't want to deal with them. It takes all the fun out of it. There's also a trend of pilots putting things in the "remarks" section of their flight plan such as "Real world pilot", "VA Hub manager - Chicago", "ZXX controller" etc. "Real world pilot" usually only means they've only controlled an aircraft for thirty seconds during their first lesson. "Hub manager/Lead instructor pilot/Terminal supervisor" doesn't mean jack shit to me. And the "ZXX Controller" thing doesn't mean anything either. It's probably just an observer who just signed up and doesn't know the first thing about air traffic control. These self righteous remarks don't mean a damned thing and have no reflection of the person's abilities. I've seen pilots with comments like these who aren't worth a damn behind the controls of an aircraft. You want to impress me? Don't do it with stupid remarks. SHOW me.

The Dreaded "Freon"

2011-07-26T05:33:00.002-05:00

You know what I can't stand about mobile air conditioning? Improper terminology being used by so-called "professionals". This mostly revolves around the use of the word "Freon". Freon is not a type of refrigerant. It's a brand name, used by DuPont, for R12. R12 was somehow deemed evil by enviromentalists, but it's not the refrigerant's fault. It's the fault of shade tree mechanics letting the stuff get into the atmosphere by not properly recovering it from vehicles. Anyway, R12 had been used for so long that it was referred to by it's brand name, "Freon". It's mostly due to DuPont manufacturing most of it at the time and "Freon-12" was the most prominently displayed word on the canisters of the stuff. Well, since R12 became the singular cause of greenhouse gases (Sarcasm!) it's use in mobile air conditioning came to an end in the US with the 1993 model year vehicles. Unfortunately the new kid on the block (since 1994), R134a, is referred to as "freon" to this day by the people who don't know any better. You want to guess who's fault it is? Mechanics. You can't blame the customers. If they hear their mechanic refer to the refrigerant in their car as "freon", then that's what it is. The mechanics should know better. It's my opinion that if you have take your car, 1994 or newer, to a shop for air conditioning service and you hear the mechanic say "freon", you should leave and go find another shop. In the shop I work at, my incessant bitching about the whole "freon" thing has been taking its toll. My foreman still occasionally asks me things like "How much freon was in it?" My response is "None. There shouldn't be ANY 'freon' in this system." He rolls his eyes and , depending on his mood, might tell me off for being a smart-ass. Time after time I explain how we are supposed to be professionals, so we should use the proper terminology. I even get to be a smart-ass with the customers. "My a/c isn't cooling. Probably low 'freon'." "Nope. I can assure you it isn't a low 'freon' level." I then go into a mini-course on refrigerants. I'm not being a dick, I'm educating my customers. Another thing about air conditioning that annoys the hell outta me is when I hear shit like "So, are you going to suck it down?" Again, if you hear your mechanic say shit like "...suck down the system" Find another shop. As with the use of "freon", chances are the person doesn't understand how an air conditioning system works and they won't actually solve your problem. They'll probably just "suck it down" and recharge it without actually diagnosing the system and figuring out what the problem is. Also, if they're solution to your problem is putting a one pound can of refrigerant into the system, run away. R134a is very "charge sensitive". With the old R12 systems, you could overcharge them and it wouldn't affect performance. Not so with R134a systems. If the system requires a three pound charge of refrigerant, three pounds is all that should be in there. More is NOT better with R134a. I see "Air conditioner tune-up" kits in truck stops all the time and it disgusts me to no end. They consist of a one pound can of R134a and a hose that connects to the low pressure port. Well, I'm spent for now and it's time to get some sleep. More air conditioning rants to come tomorrow.

Head against the wall

2011-05-10T02:07:00.003-05:00

What's the most important thing in the trucking industry? Getting the load to its destination. On time. The people at a certain break down service don't fully understand that fact. I was called out last night by a national road service provider (like AAA for semis) to go look at a truck that shut down. The driver said he got a "no oil pressure" message from the DIC (Driver Information Center. An LCD display on the instrument panel.) and the engine shut down. Simple enough. The ECM (Engine Control Module) wasn't getting an oil pressure signal so it assumed that there was no oil pressure. Wanting to protect the engine, the ECM cuts off the fuel and the engine stops. Well, not knowing what the exact problem was, I had to consider what would cause a no oil pressure condition. Here's what could cause it.

1.) There's no oil in the engine. Could be from holes in the oil pan (damage due to road debris), a hole in the block caused by engine parts failing and piercing the block, a leak from crank seals, failed turbo lines or the turbo itself, loose oil filter, bad oil filter gasket, leaking head gasket, bad front cover gasket etc. An oil pump can't create pressure if there's no oil to pump.

2.) The oil pump failed. That's pretty straight forward.

3.) Something is blocking the oil pump pickup tube.

4.) The oil pressure sensor failed or the wiring to it has been damaged.

5.) The ECM has malfuntioned.

OK, having considered the things listed above, I loaded up the truck with some oil filters and extra oil. I got the scan tool from my foreman and asked him for a mechanical gauge so I could verify oil pressure, or lack thereof. He told me that I didn't need it because I could check oil pressure with the scan tool. This is a true statement, however stupid it sounds, because the scan tool's data stream shows the oil pressure sensor's data. I made the point that if the sensor is bad, how would I verify the oil pressure? I left without a gauge. There's no point in arguing with the foreman. He can be a stubborn cur. I drove 50 miles to get to the casualty. The truck was pretty much in the middle of nowhere considering the time of day. Parts can't be had anywhere at that hour if we don't have what we need in the service truck or at the shop. Aside from getting the driver to sign my work order, the first thing I did was to look under the truck for a puddle of oil. Nothing. Looked all over the engine for signs of leaks. Nothing. Pulled the dipstick out. Full crankcase. Hooked up the scan tool and found a code for oil pressure sensor voltage. That tells me where to look and also that the ECM hasn't failed since it was able to communicate with the scan tool. So now what? I have no idea where the sensor is aside from that it has to be screwed into a spot that has oil passing by. There's a lot of things attached to engines these days, so which component is the oil pressure sensor? I had no idea. I tried calling the shop, but everyone had already left for the night. OK, time to call the service provider and let them know what's going on.

I called the service provider (SP from here on out) and told them what I had found. I asked them what they wanted me to do. The SP asked if I hooked a gauge up to the engine. I said I didn't have one with me. I could hear the frustration in his voice that was leading to him basically wanting to tell me I was incompetent. I calmly explained what my foreman had told me and he eased off a bit. This particular person is a dick, plain and simple. He never thinks about the most important thing in trucking. He wants to get trucks fixed no matter how long it takes or how unreasonable his requests may be. He didn't understand that this truck wasn't going anywhere regardless of whether I had a pressure gauge with me or not. Here's why.

Let's assume I had a gauge with me and actually found a place to connect it. If the oil pump isn't creating pressure, it's junk. Call for a tow truck. I'm not dropping an oil pan and changing a pump on the side of the fucking road. Where the hell would I get a pump at midnight anyway? If the pump WAS creating pressure there's still the problem of the ECM not seeing any signal from the sensor. Again, where am I going to find a sensor at midnight? The SP dude loves to suggest jerry-rig fixes and I knew he would bring up the stupid idea of bypassing the sensor. First off, that's totally stupid. Secondly, this ain't the old days anymore. You can't just unplug a sensor and stick a paper clip into the plug to make shit work. Thirdly, I'm not stupid enough to put my ass on the line like that. IF I could find where the sensor was on the engine and IF it was possible to bypass it, I would still refuse to do it. What if the pump makes pressure but not enough? What if the pump works randomly? If I bypass an oil pressure sensor, send the thing down the road and the engine seizes, guess who get hung out to dry? Yep, me. Like I said, I'm not that stupid. Time for more hypothetical situations.

Let's say the nearest place for me to get a new sensor was open 24 hours a day and the SP told me to go get one. The nearest place would have been 60 miles away so we would have a 120 mile round trip to get a new sensor. The trip is all interstate highway with a 65 mph limit. That's about 1.8 hrs of just driving. Add in time at the parts house and a couple of traffic lights and we're easily at 2 hrs. You, in the back, what did you ask? "How do I know that the sensor is actually bad?" I don't. Determining that would require diagnostic procedures from a manual or from Insight (Cummins Insight. The truck had an ISX engine in it.) Well, we don't have a manual and our subscription to Insight has expired. If I had information at my disposal, there would still be a good chunk of time devoted to diagnosis. Let's say that I was able to determine, without doubt, that the sensor was bad. Great. I spent an hour on diagnostics (still on the side of the fucking road mind you) and then have to waste 2 hrs getting a sensor. Sensor in hand, I put it in and... the engine still shuts down. Call the SP and update them. The SP in turn calls the truck's owner and updates them. The downtime thus far is... Hmm, let's add it up.

22:15 we get the service call
22:30 Service truck loaded and I'm on the road
23:25 I arrive. Start paperwork and preliminary diagnosis
23:45 I call the SP and update them
00:00 Done talking the the SP, I hit the road to get a service manual and a new sensor
02:30 Return to the site and begin sensor diagnosis
03:30 Diagnostics done. Sensor changed. Engine still shuts down
03:50 Updated SP

The truck was, obviously, sitting still for AT LEAST 15 minutes before we got the call. That would put total downtime thus far at just over 6 hrs. Imagine being the truck's owner. You've just been told that after 6 hrs of downtime, the load on your truck still won't be moving. You'll be paying for 6 hrs of service call to boot. Now, that's about $800 that we would bill the SP. They, in turn, would slap their fee on top of that. Probably $900 - $1000 when it's all said and done. Now, you would find out that on top of the service call you would be paying for a tow (the distances involved would easily make for a $1000 tow bill.) I'd venture to say that steam would be coming out of your ears. Now, guess who the bad guy is in this hypothetical situation? Yep, me. Shit rolls down hill. Customer raises hell with the SP who, not wanting to take the blame even though they ARE to blame for this whole cluster fuck, will contact my shop and raise hell. The shop owner not wanting to lose a good customer looks into the situation. I get interrogated and even though I did exactly as I was told, some fault will be found and I'll get hollered at. I know how shit works around here.

As the service call went in reality. I was only gone for about 2 hrs and the truck's down time was kept as low as it could be in this situation. There's certain service calls where it would be best just to call for a tow truck and be done with it. Service calls are best left for problems you KNOW can be solved. Flat tires, brake chamber or valve leaks, bad air lines etc.

So, you can see that Captain Jerry Rig at the SP likes to have people banging their heads against walls. Hell, it ain't his money that's being wasted. Jerry Rig doesn't understand that sometimes it's best to just get a tow truck on the road and keep the down time to a minimum. Get the load moving!

Oh, the questions.

2011-03-19T06:05:00.003-05:00

Here's some lovely questions mechanics receive. Blatantly stupid or extremely vague, they're whoppers. I present the questions and the responses I would give if they weren't customers. Or if I had a few beers in me.

"I have a Dodge Dakota and until yesterday it worked perfectly. I went shopping and the station, but since I had no battery. They helped me handing me another battery power. I get to my house. From today does not work, only to hear a martilleteo on (I think it\'s motor starting) and I can not do from the truck.Do not want to take it to a shop because I am female and know nothing about cars and I can cheat"

-Nothing wrong with this question. It's just a hilarious auto translation.

"Problem with the 1987 Chevrolet S-10 Pickup. was driving out of nowhere truck engine stopped but all lights stayed on, and the "check gages" light came on, this light has never come on before. i changee the starter , coil, and the moduale. please help!"

- Why do they always go for the battery, starter or alternator first? If the fucking engine shut off, why would you replace the starter? If the starter cranks the engine, fucking leave it alone. That's the starters only job. Turning the engine.

"replacement of fuel filter"

- That's it. No make, model, year or engine. My response would be "Remove old filter. Install new filter. Check for leaks." Bone head.

"Replace spark plugs for 2000 cavalier"

- That's all there was. Is it a statement or a question? I would just love to watch this person attempt the job. Seeing their reaction when the plug wires break because they haven't been changed since Christ was a corporal, stripping the threads in the cylinder head, not gapping the plugs before installation...

"Lights in dash and radio are blinking - why?"

- There's a rave going on. Weren't you invited?

"smells like something is burning"

- Carry a fire bottle.

"I have 86 Mercedes I rebuilt the top end and got it running drove it about twenty miles thy day it was done then the next day I try to start it and it trued to turn then it started click in when turn it over the belts try to turn it over then nothing but click could it be my timing or could it be the starter"

- Punctuation, motherfucker! Punctuation! Again, is this a question or a statement? I'm guessing the dipshit got his valve timing wrong and it's an interference fit engine (meaning the valves and pistons get together when valve timing isn't 100%) and has a shit load of bent valves. That's an expensive lesson.

"need a fuel tank diagram for a 1998 chevy/geo tracker 1.6 liter 2 door"

-Seriously? It's a tank. It holds liquid.

"my van keeps shutting off"

- It's supposed to do that when you turn the key off. Don't want the engine running 24/7.

"I have a 95 Caprice Wagon and can\'t get the key into the ignition. What\'s going on?"

- Try using the right key.

"how to change a timing chain in a 1971 buick skylark 350 "

- Easy. Remove the old timing chain and gears, install the new chain and gears. Road test.

"key wont turn in ignition"

- Wrong key or wrong car.

Get off your high horse, pal

2011-03-17T01:19:00.003-05:00

Having read some article comments on Yahoo regarding the current nuclear problem in Japan, I present this little gem. And I quote...

" I guess they simply chose to look pass the fact that Japan attacked military instillations and the US nuked cities with civilian women and children. It sickens me that human beings can be so petty and ignorant as such. It just confirms to me the thought that man will eventually be the cause of our own demise simply because we cannot get our heads out of our own asses long enough to come together for the sake of humanity and this planet."

What Mr. High and Mighty here doesn't realize, aside from the fact that his spelling is atrocious, is that Japan was as bad as Germany in WWII. If not worse. Japan slaughtered millions of Chinese civilians during the war and made no effort to treat POWs humanely. It has nothing to do with revenge for Pearl Harbor. Japan had been on a rampage since the mid 1930s. As for the bombing of German and Japanese cities by the USAF and USN I'll paraphrase from the book "The Wrong Stuff" by Truman Smith. "You don't win wars by being the good guy. You win wars by being worse than your enemy." If German and Japan had had the industrial capability to bomb the hell out of the US, they would have done it. Wars are brutal.

I also need to comment on this gentleman's little ditty about "the US nuked cities with civilian women and children..." Further evidence that he doesn't know his WWII history. The atomic bomb was devastating to be sure, but the destruction wrought by "Fat Man" and "Little Boy" pale in comparison to what General LeMay was doing to Japanese cities. People tend to forget that B-29s had been in service in the Pacific theater long before the atomic bombs were considered. Conventional bombing showed mediocre results, so they switched... to incendiary bombs. Japanese cities were mainly built of wood and paper. You do the math. One fire bombing mission created as much destruction (a little more in some cases) as one atomic bomb. Firebombing didn't happen just once or twice, the USAF was doing this nightly. The firebombing of Dresden is considered one of the most horrific things done by the allies, but Dresden was a mere flickering candle to what was being done to Japanese cities.

OK, so I'm wandering off topic. Have any of you expected anything different from me? The quote I posted in the beginning of this post is but one example of something that really pisses me off. The cause is mainly shitty education in the school system when you get right down to it. Any bleach blond bar slut will be able to tell you who Hitler is. Ask that lovely lady why Hitler was a bad person and you'll receive a three letter response at best. "He killed Jews!" Ask this belle how Hitler managed to get into power and you'll get a blank stare. They probably wouldn't even be able to tell you Hitler's first name. They know the important thing, that Hitler was an evil motherfucker, but they don't know how it all happened. Asking our little Tavern Princess why Japan wanted to take over the Pacific would be an exercise in futility and lead to you becoming an asshole. Trust me, it happened to me once.

Hobby and Reality On Converging Courses

2011-01-23T22:48:00.002-06:00

My main hobby is virtual aviation. Both flying and controlling. My real life is concerned with the lady I wrote about in the previous post. These two things are likely to converge and touch a nerve with me regarding the same thing. I don't need to describe my problems with the lady again. My hobby of controlling on the VATSIM network is giving me problems though. The ATM at my ARTCC resigned from his position today after a lengthy "witch hunt" by a handful of my fellow controllers. I won't deny their complaints of our ATM not being around much and not having much of an online presence, I have issue with the way they went about airing their grievances. They did almost everything except hang the ATM in effigy. I took neither side as I usually do, but I have lost all respect for those controllers who made up this "lynch mob". Our ATM posted on the message board his resignation for all to see and a few of the mob had the audacity to post well wishes such as "best of luck to you." It disgusts me to no end. This leads to the parallel with the lady in my life.

I'm lazy and a bit of a slob, I'm one of the "working poor" formerly known as the middle class so I don't have much, but I have a very old fashioned sense of duty and honor. I say "sir" and "Ma'am", hold doors for women, help people whenever I'm called on etc. I don't know where the saying came from, but I live by it. "My honor is my loyalty." With the controllers of the mob, they were out for blood and they got it. Then they turned around and wished the ATM well? Two-faced sons-of-bitches is what they are! No loyalty to either side equals no honor! With the lady her infidelity of the past means no loyalty, hence no honor. I'm capable of forgiving people for many things (thank you for that gift Grandpa!) but forgiving someone for such a gross breach of honor is almost impossible for me to do.

A certain lady

2010-12-24T20:38:00.002-06:00

This Christmas has been a little weird for me. Over the past year I've been dealing with an ex girlfriend for whom I still carry a torch. We had been tip-toeing around the subject of dating over the summer but never really came to a conclusion. Long ago I had come to realize that I could never date her since I could never trust her due to her not knowing the meaning of the word "fidelity". It had been nine years since we had dated and she told me of at least one occasion when she was unfaithful to here then boyfriend. By that time I had finally admitted to myself that I would never be able to trust her despite the fact that we get along so well. I have never told her about it because it would serve no purpose and would only hurt her. She has told me that I'm the only person she can really talk to about anything. Why, I don't know. When here current relationship fell apart she disappeared for awhile and then eventually contacted me again. I knew at that time that I was only a friend and a bit of a "rebound guy" to her. That was last February. We spent a lot of time together, which was nice, but she was actively seeking a new man on a dating service. Even though I'm perfectly aware that we will never be a couple, it hurts me deeply to know that she doesn't want me. I haven't talked to her much since October and I find myself wishing I didn't talk to her at all because it hurts to hear her say how she's going to her new guy's place. She told me early on that she was just looking for friendship with this guy, but anyone could see through the bullshit. I think she was only trying to keep me from being hurt. Well, it didn't work. I have absolutely no say as to who she is dating and I keep my mouth shut. In fact, I encouraged here to give this guy another try when she started seeing him. That was very, very difficult for me to do, but I thought it was the right thing to do. As much as I still love her, I'm not going to stand in her way. I hate to say it, but if she hasn't changed at all, the new guy will eventually find out the hard way how she can be. I sincerely hope she can remain faithful to this new guy. But I also hope she has picked a guy that's compatible with her. If she's just settling for "close enough" she'll end up disappointed just as she has in previous relationships and it will lead to more infidelity. It's very sad to see this happen over and over again. I also can't bring myself to tell her that she's on her own and that I won't be there to help her if this current relationship of hers falls apart. I simply plan on doing what I do best, and that is just fading away into the background.

I'm Gullible

2010-10-30T23:09:00.002-05:00

Good God I am so freakin' gullible sometimes. This weekend has been completely ruined and what stings most is that it's my fault. I've always looked forward to Halloween and especially when it falls on a weekend. Since I work nights I'm usually unable to enjoy Halloween unless it happens to fall on a weekend. Last year I was supposed to have Halloween off, but one of the other mechanics quit which screwed up the service call rotation. I got screwed out of Halloween and found myself fixing a tractor alongside a railroad instead of having a good time. This year I was, again, going to have Halloween off. One of the other mechanics screwed things up and it was looking like I was going to get fucked again. I had plans to spend the 30th (a Saturday) with a lady friend out at the bars looking at all the people who had dressed up for the holiday. I worked ten straight days on call just so I would have this weekend free. I was really looking forward to seeing my friend and had been counting the days. All the while I had in the back of my mind the nagging thought that she'd bail on me. I dismissed it think that she knew what I had gone through to have this weekend free and how important it was to me. This afternoon I got "the call". She couldn't make it. Said she wasn't feeling well enough. Granted she's been ill for the past three weeks, but even my offer to drive to her was kind of shot down. It just reeks of an excuse to get out of it. There was no point in getting angry with her. I just said that I was disappointed and that it would be another two weeks before I was free again. Some friend. So here I sit, plans ruined for the second Halloween in a row and fuming over the whole thing. Halloween will not come on a weekend again until 2015! To say that I'm not even a little pissed off would be a lie. Mostly, I'm pissed at myself for thinking she would actually be here. I am such a fool... Why do I even make plans for anything anymore?

Coming Soon

2010-10-01T13:54:00.002-05:00

Since my last post, I have realized that I was quite harsh on that truck driver. Though he can be a pain in the ass at times I cannot deny that he's a good person. For example, the other day I had mentioned wanting to find a different truck to replace my old S-10 to a few people at work. The next day this driver comes in and tells me of a few decent trucks for sale at fairly reasonable prices. He's not so bad after all.

Next up on this blog I have decided to do a small series on the problem I have recently had with my car, a 1994 Chevy Caprice, and the diagnostic process I went through to repair it. I'll also briefly cover a problem I had with the S-10. The internet is a great source of information when repairing cars and trucks, but everything you see needs to be taken with a grain of salt. The information out there is predominantly from message boards and is posted by, from my experience, mostly shade tree mechanics. Some of them know what they're doing, some have no clue and some are simply passing on something they heard about but have no experience with. I thought it would make for a nice series of posts. Something other than me bitching about my job.

Spoiled Truck Drivers

2010-09-29T06:55:00.003-05:00

There's a driver who parks his rig at the shop I work at and I used to like the guy, but now I think he's going a little insane. He's not an owner/operator, but drives for a rather large company. His truck is a 2006 Kenworth T600 with a sleeper and he keeps it in excellent shape. He always does a pre-trip inspection and will have even the smallest problems taken care of immediately. Something you don't see many drivers do, especially company drivers. But the driver I'm writing about in this post has started to become a nuisance. He's had his truck in our shop three times complaining of a rough ride. He's asked us to "check out the shocks" two of those three times and the other time he was complaining about ride height (a leveling valve/air spring thing). Well, on a car the way to check shocks is push down on the hood to get the thing bouncing. After a few good shoves you let go and count how many times the car bounces and rebound. When shocks/struts are in good shape, you give one last shove and the car should go down, up and then settle to normal height. A little bit of jiggle after isn't a big deal. With a big truck you can't even get the suspension to budge simply by pushing on it. So, you look for leaking oil from the shocks, excessive rust, damage etc. The first time this driver asked us to check the shocks (I have no idea what he thinks "checking the shocks" entails) I gave it a visual inspection and drove the thing for about ten miles over all sorts of roads. The thing rides very well for a big truck. We put it back outside and then a week later it was back in the shop because they didn't like the way we "checked the shocks." Well how the fuck would you like me to "check" them? I was told to disconnect one end of each shock and move them by hand to see if there was still enough resistance! Can you fucking believe it? The steer axle shocks were easy enough as were the shocks on the rear drive axle, but ohhhh, the front drive axle was another story. I'm not going to explain it, but if you're familiar with Kenworth air suspensions, you know what the "elephant ears" are. Both the top and bottom shock mounts on the front drive axle are blocked. The top by the fifth wheel and the bottom by the elephant ears. No mechanic would willing remove the front drive shocks on a Kenworth for "testing" purposes. The only time they come off is when they're getting replaced. Anyway, I wasn't going to wrench the mounting nuts off because they were rusty lock nuts. Fuck that! I dropped the elephant ears so I could get an impact on the lower mounting nuts. All told, I had an hour and a half just "checking shocks." There was absolutely nothing wrong with them, of course. I then found out that we had put these shocks on and they only had around 200,000 miles on them. Sounds like a lot of miles, but it would be like a car only having 8,000 miles on its shocks. That's when I realized this driver will get it in his head that a particular part is causing whatever problem he thinks he's having. He then proceeds to have things, like shocks, checked and rechecked until everyone gets tired of hearing him complain and replaces whatever part he thinks is bad. We replaced the steer tires two weeks ago because he thought they were causing a rough ride. He said they were cupping pretty bad. I'll admit there was a couple of spots where ONE tire was cupping, but you couldn't see it. I had to run my hand over the tread to feel it, and I could barely tell even then. He complained and sure enough, new steer tires. It's not our truck, so as long as the driver's company keeps approving the work, we'll keep doing it. I found out last night that this company told the driver to get the tires from us because they wanted to see if they were actually in need of replacement. They weren't. They still had at least half of the tread left (about 10/32" at the last service. I know, I get stuck servicing the truck every time it needs a service.) Another example of this nutcase is from last winter. The week I was on call, of course. He called me early one Saturday morning (not a good way to start my day being a second-shifter and all) and said he saw some "mist" come out from under the hood. OK, valid complaint and I thought the truck might have a coolant leak. Off to the shop I went. Pressurized the cooling system and looked all over for leaks, but didn't find any. No spots on the ground, no dampness anywhere around the engine. Nothing! Told him he was imagining things and then I went home. That wasn't good enough. The truck ended up in the shop a few more times with complaints of "mist" and coolant leak. He parks in the same spot every day and there was no spots on the ground and, again, nothing seen under the hood. What happens last spring? He gets a new fucking radiator. Again, changing a radiator in a big truck is no small task and I, as usual, was the one stuck with the job. I used to go out of my way to help this guy because when someone takes care of their truck, I want to do my best for them. I've had enough with this guy though and I'm not going to go the extra mile any more. I hope his company cuts him off and stops all this unnecessary parts replacement. I'm interested to see what happens once he turns in those old steer tires.

The joke is on you

2010-08-03T03:12:00.005-05:00

Go to YouTube and do a search for something like "dodge cummins", "Chevy duramax" or some other truck/engine combination. Pick the first video that shows up. You don't necessarily need to watch the video, just read the comments. Any truck/mudding/winch-out/stuck in ditch type video will always degrade into a bunch of idiots leaving comments such as "If you had Ford/Dodge/Chevy/Tonka you wouldn't have been stuck. Duramax/Cummins/Powerstroke/Briggs and Stratton rule!!!!!" Oh just shut up. I'm so very tired of these brand loyal people. Each truck, or car, or motorcycle, or lawn mower is going to have its good points and its bad points regardless of the brand. The person driving the vehicle is the key factor most of the time. As a mechanic I see what happens when people maintain their vehicles and when people do not maintain their vehicles. I always smile when I see a lifted pick-up get towed into the shop. It's very common for people, young males in particular, to lift their truck and stick big tires under it, install the K&N air filter, performance "chip", performance exhaust of some sort and the cheesy sticker kit. What did they forget about? Anyone? Gearing. By the time they have the "Bad boyz drive big toyz" crap stuck on the back window, they don't have any money left over to change the differential gears. Of course, changing gears really isn't a shade-tree, DIY sort of thing anyway. No matter. The typical bonehead doesn't really understand that by putting a bigger tire on their truck they're changing gear ratios. And not for the better. Usually by the time they smoke off those expensive tires by doing burn outs, the transmission, transfer case, engine, steering linkage, suspension and differentials have taken such a beating that they're on the verge of failure. The whole truck is pretty much junk at this point. I've even heard a few guys complaining about the dealer not honoring the warranty. Uh, Einstein, as soon as you stuck that lift kit on, you voided your warranty. You purchased a vehicle that was designed to perform well as it rolled off the assembly line. As soon as you started fucking with things, you were making the vehicle do things it wasn't designed to do. Suspension made to handle a 245/75-16 tire is not going to last long with a 38" mud tire bouncing all over the place. People have to accept the fact that trucks simply aren't made as well as they used to be. You can't expect to modify them extensively, beat on them and still have a long lasting truck. Sitting in the shop is a truck just like I've described. It's been there since late May and will probably be taking up space for quite some time. Some kid had it towed in because it didn't run. The brand doesn't matter, but it has a diesel engine (because they're sooo cool!) and it took quite a lot of diagnostic time to figure out what the problem was (a few bad injectors and injector cups amongst other things). We received authorization for every single thing we did. We finally got the thing repaired and it runs great. Whoever put the lift on it was smart enough to change the differential gears, compensating for the larger tires. Let me tell you, this truck hauls ass! But, the kid can't pay the bill. So, we're stuck with a truck taking up space until the bill is payed in full. Welcome to diesel engines kid. Expensive fuckers aren't they? Just for shits and giggles, I donated some time after my shift one night and inspected the truck. Sloppy ball joints, transmission fluid that's brown (it's supposed to be reddish in color), leaking transfer case, a few marker lights don't work, exhaust leaks... If it was a big truck, it would not pass a DOT inspection. We've had a lot of this particular brand of truck in the shop lately. Probably ten or twelve in the last three months. All of them came in because they shut down and wouldn't run. Some of the trucks were bone-stock, others were "mud crunchers". The majority of them had the same problem. After the first three or so, we had to tell the customers that it would be at least $2000 to fix their truck. It's sad that a particular part failed with such regularity we could tell the customers what the minimum cost would be without even opening the hood. We've changed this particular part so many times that we've made special tools to do the job faster and know exactly how to change it. I know, I know, I've ended up on a different subject than I started with but believe me, there's a point to it. The point I'm making is this. It doesn't matter at all what brand of truck you have or how you've modified your truck. Each brand of truck is going to have problems of one kind or another. Oh, one more thing about the brand-faithful. I was shootin' the shit with a younger guy while pumping gas one day and a Chevy truck drove by. Lift kit, every gaudy accessory known to man stuck on it, Duramax diesel with a performance "controller" as shown by the black smoke coming out of the exhaust (which is fucking stupid. That's unburned diesel fuel aka wasted money) This kid said something like "Yeah! Can't beat that GM power!" I looked over at him and replied "Uh, you should know the Duramax isn't a GM engine." He looked at me all stupid and asked me what I was talking about. I said "Kid, the Duramax is an Isuzu engine. GM is totally incapable of building anything resembling a decent diesel engine." He just stared at me and I couldn't tell if he was going to start crying or try and hit me. "Sometimes the truth hurts, kid. Dodge uses Cummins engines and the 'Ford' Powerstroke diesels are actually Navistar engines." Speaking of Cummins, I always get a laugh when some jackass calls them "Cummings" engines. Just proves they don't have a clue what they're talking about. One last thing. Stop putting exhaust stacks on pick-ups. It looks stupid.

VATSIM

2010-05-22T02:29:00.002-05:00

One of my hobbies is aviation. For those of you who aren't aware of it, there's a community of virtual pilots and air traffic controllers who interact on the VATSIM network. VATSIM's motto is "As real as it gets". It's open interpretation, of course, but it's definitely as real as it gets when you throw a bunch of aviation geeks together. There's a code of conduct and certain rules that must be followed by pilot and controller alike, but the big difference is that controllers have to pass a series of tests and "over the shoulders" sessions before they can occupy certain positions. This, of course, means that any schmuck can fly on VATSIM, but only certain people can become controllers. I do both, but find controlling the most frustrating when pilots don't hold up their end of the bargain. When I control, I deal with pilots who start taxiing all on their own without even contacting me on tower. I send them a "contact me" message saying something like "N1234A, you need to request clearance before taxiing, sir." Nine times out of ten, these pilots reply "Oh, I didn't see any controllers online." BULLSHIT!. When I look at their statistics, I usually see that they've logged well over 100 hours of time on VATISM. I absolutely cannot believe that they've logged that much time without knowing how to find if a controller is online. It truly pisses me off. Then they usually request a departure runway that isn't currently active. "N1234A, if you had listened to the ATIS frequency, you would have known what runways were active." Now don't be thinking that I'm being a dickhead, when I see a new pilot online, I help them as much as I can. It's the experienced pilots not doing what they're supposed to be doing that make me angry. People fly and control on VATSIM for the realism that they might not otherwise be able to experience. VATSIM is NOT a free flight network. Another thing that gets me riled up is how controllers have to meet certain standards before they can control a position, but any jackass can fly on the network. There are basic rules a pilot is supposed to abide by while flying on the network, but it's rare that any of the newer pilots actually follow the rules. Hell, it's a good day when a new pilot even knows the basics of flying. In the real world, a student pilot will start out in a Piper Cub, Cessna Skyhawk or some other simple, single engine airplane. They learn the basics of flight such as what makes an airplane fly and what the primary instruments are and how they're used. These new pilots will fly traffic patterns at their home airport, take their first "solo" flight (meaning they fly a traffic pattern without their instructor sitting next to them) and eventually get their private pilot certificate. From there on out, it's a matter of learning. Learning how to fly by instruments, learning how to fly multiple engine aircraft etc. In the virtual flight world, it used to be almost exactly the same thing. There were differences to be sure, such as civilian flight sims and combat flight sims, but they all had virtual training programs that would teach a virtual pilot almost the same thing as a real pilot would be learning. That's where I started out. The first simulator I ever flew in was Air Warrior II. I then bought Microsoft Combat Flight Simulator and found it wouldn't run on the computer I had at the time. With the next computer purchase I jumped to Combat Flight Simulator 2 (WWII Pacific) and logged more hours than I care to count. Aerial combat was a part of it, but most of the people I met were mostly interested in the flying part of it, not the shooting part. We flew countless island hops around the South Pacific and somehow I became the default leader for these flights. I don't think it was because of any spectacular leadership skills, it was most likely because I knew how to get where we wanted to go. You see, after the initial noob excitement of being able to shoot down virtual aircraft piloted by real people, I wanted to learn more about flying. So, I went on a quest to learn more. I learned about fuel usage, trim, navigation and other basic things. I don't like not knowing how something works so when I don't know how something works, I teach myself. Things progressed to the point where if you threw me in a real airplane (a relatively simple general aviation aircraft mind you) I could fly it fairly well. So when I found out about VATSIM and finally got the nerve to sign up (it's free), I already had the skills needed to fly on the network without causing any problems. All I really needed to learn was how to interact with ATC. The initial contact with a real person working ATC was nerve wracking, but I did it and realized that it wasn't as complicated as I thought it would be. After flying on the network for awhile, I began to wonder how ATC worked, so I signed up to be a controller. Even before I became a virtual controller, I was appalled at the lack of skill many pilots had. For many that I chatted with, their first simulator was Flight Simulator X (FSX) and they had never flown online before. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that; we all start somewhere. But us old hands of flight sims, kind of look down on the new pilots and think of them as morons. You, in the back. What was your question? "Why do you look down on them?" Good question, and I have a solid answer for you. Most of the new pilots, at some time, got the urge to purchase a flight sim and do some flying. They install the sim, select a Boeing 767 and fly from point to point. Direct. Via GPS. *groan* Most of them never take advantage of the excellent tutorials that come with the simulator. Therefore, they have absolutely no clue what VORs, NDBs and airways are. Every flight is direct via GPS. Take offs and landings are purely by luck. And since the majority of the flights are done by auto pilot they begin to think that they "know how to fly". In reality, all they know how to do is set the auto pilot. That's all fine and dandy for them until they hear about this online flying thing called "VATSIM" and they look into it. I originally thought that with the amount of documentation on VATISM's website, only those pilots truly interested in learning how to do things the right way would get through. I was wrong. Almost totally wrong. Much like license agreements during software installation, these new pilots simply clicked the "Next" button without reading anything. Thinking they know all there is to know about flying, these noobs wind up at a major airport, like the one I work at as a tower controller, and start to cause headaches. They'll call for clearance "as filed" with a flight plan (if they actually filed a flight plan in the first place) that makes no sense at all. Of course, this is assuming they actually contact a controller to begin with. Here's a typical scenario. A pilot will contact me and request IFR clearance to so-and-so airport "as filed". Since new pilots never contact you until you're busy with a bunch of other aircraft, you tell them "N1234A, clearance on request. Stand by." Not having read any of the training material available to pilots, the new pilot doesn't have any idea that clearance requests are at the bottom of the priority list. So, they call you for clearance yet again. As you're trying to jockey around three aircraft on final approach to three different runways. Once I finally get a chance to look over the noob's flight plan, I see it's either GPS direct, or some standard, pulled off the internet, flight plan. With the GPS direct flight plans, a controller will, at the very least, know it's a new pilot and can take appropriate action to help the new pilot. Slightly annoying, but hey, we all start somewhere. It's the jerks with the pay-ware airliners who can be the most annoying. They learn how to start the aircraft and program the FMS (Flight Management System. Basically a really fancy "auto pilot") then program the FMS with whatever flight plan they pulled off of Vroute. Whatever controller is doing clearances (ATC service on VATSIM is from the top down) will look at the flight plan and, if it's a noob pilot, the controller will usually sigh and wonder how much time they have left before the migraine sets in. As a Delivery, Ground or Tower controller, it isn't a big deal. It's when these noobs get to the Departure and Enroute Controllers where problems begin to mount. A noob pilot can download a flight plan that makes absolutely NO sense to them, program it into the FMS, turn on the auto pilot and fly the whole planned route without problem. The departure controller gets the first inkling of mayhem unless the delivery, ground or tower (from here on out referred to as local control) controller catches the flight plan glitches and corrects them with the pilot. Not knowing any better, a noob pilot will download and file a flight plan horribly out of date. Departure procedures that haven't existed in five years, VORs that have been renamed, fixes that no longer exist etc. Local controllers will be pulling their hair out while dealing with the noob pilot because the noob doesn't have the most basic flying skills. They'll file, for example, the O'Hare One departure procedure. O'Hare is currently using the O'Hare FOUR, departure procedure. But looking up charts, airport diagrams and learning how to navigate is just too much work ya know. So, after much banging of heads against walls by local controllers, a somewhat reasonable flight plan is filed. OK, the noob finally gets off the ground. The tower will say something akin to "N1234A, contact Chicago departure on 118.10. Good day." The noob will reply "Departure on 118.10. N1234A." It seems good, but things can still be deceiving. It doesn't take any skill to parrot instructions back to a controller. Immediately after departure, even a noob pilot can follow instructions. "N1234A, Chicago departure. Radar contact 1,200. Turn left heading 040. climb and maintain 15,000." It's after that point where the noobs become a real pain in the ass. Controllers are like any other employee. They want to do things as efficiently as possible. Therefore, they're going to give as few instructions as possible. "N1234A, cleared direct Grand Rapids." Here's where things get messy. ATC is all about phraseology. "Cleared direct Grand Rapids" means the pilot is cleared to fly direct to the Grand Rapids VOR. But the pilot's first waypoint is an intersection named "Petty" and the program in the FMS is Petty, GRR, etc. The noob has no clue what to do. They don't know how to reprogram their fancy FMS in mid-flight. What about the VOR frequency? Oh, yeah. The noob never bothered to learn about something as simple as flying to and from VORs. A very basic skill learned by all real world pilots from the very beginning. Personally, I use an FMS, but I also know from my flight plan (which I actually plan myself) what VORs are enroute to my destination. I have at least one (two whenever possible) tuned in at all times. I always know where I am, in at least a general sense. A controller is usually going to clear you direct to something initially. Most likely, it will be whatever is next in the flight plan. Be it an intersection, NDB, VOR or GPS fix. A controller will also expect a pilot to be able to actually FLY the flight plan they filed. If your aircraft's equipment or your own skill only allow you to fly direct from one VOR to the next, it's probably not a good idea to put a bunch of fixes and intersections into your flight plan. Unfortunately, I see this crap way too much. Most virtual pilots and controllers are men. It's not sexist, it's just that women are either not interested in being an aviation geek, or they're too scared to admit it. Whatever. So, men not wanting to admit that they're lost won't say "unable" when given direct to something they have no way of finding. The proper procedure would be "N1234A, cleared direct Petty." "Departure, N1234A is unable direct Petty." (even though the idiot had Petty intersection in their flight plan.) The noob pilot will respond "Departure, uhhh.... request vectors Petty." Great. Just fuckin' great. A controller who is already overloaded with aircraft now has to hold some idiot's hand and guide him step by step to a way point which should have never been in the flight plan to begin with. You get the idea. The rest of the noob's flight is going to be similar. An approach controller will try and reduce his/her workload by clearing the noob for a visual approach, weather permitting of course, only to find out that the noob pilot has no clue where he is in relation to the destination airport. Again, the controller has to hold this dipshit's hand all the way down. Once on the ground, the local controllers will realize the noob doesn't have an airport diagram and is unable to find his way around the airport's taxiways. More hand holding. It's the job of a virtual controller on VATSIM to provide as much assistance as possible to the aircraft under his/her control (again, it's mostly men controlling.) But pilot's should be held to at least some basic standards. Christ, they should, at the minimum, be able to tune in a VOR and fly to it. But no, they can't. Because in the virtual flying world, you don't have to start at square one. You can start right at the airliners. Even if you can't navigate your way across the fucking room. As a controller, it is very, very difficult to not let my frustration come through over the frequency. I had some fuck face tonight sit at the gates for 30 minutes before he filed a flight plan. When he did file a flight plan, I could tell it was a very old flight plan and wasn't even relevant anymore. But, it was slow and I could clear him "as filed" if only to get him the hell out of my airspace ASAP. Well, this jackass didn't call for clearance or even contact me at all. He pushed back and started taxiing wherever he wanted to. I checked his stats and saw that he had logged over 530 hours on VATSIM. I eventually sent him a "Contact me" message and when I did, I saw his aircraft stop in its tracks. He contacted me, finally, with the worn out "Tower, N1234A with you." I replied, "Sir, you need to request clearance before starting taxi." I got the old "Oh, you didn't send me a message so I thought I didn't need to contact you." crap. "N1234A, it is the pilot's responsibility to contact ATC." Of course, I got "Well I didn't see you online". "N1234A, you have logged over 530 hours on VATSIM. You should know by now how to see what controllers are online." I hate being a dick like that, but this idiot had no excuse for not contacting me. He knew I had him cornered as soon as I mentioned how much time he had logged. It's information readily available to anyone who wishes to look for it. I frequently look at pilots' stats to get an idea of what kind of skills they might possess. This moron requested clearance "as filed" to KJFK. Even though his first way point was no longer valid for the O'Hare Four departure procedure, I knew it would be like pulling teeth to explain things to him. So, I cleared him as filed. He was told to expect runway 10 for departure since that was near where he stopped when I forced him into contacting me. He had the balls to request runway "35L" for departure. O'Hare doesn't have a 35L. It has a 32L, but it didn't matter. Because 9R and 10 were the active departure runways per local procedure. I told him "N1234A, if you had listened to the ATIS broadcast, you would have know which runways were active. ATIS available on 135.40". Then he really knew he was up against the wall. He cooperated very nicely after that. Even followed the taxi instructions to the letter. I cleared him for take off and once he was off, I sent him over to the advisory frequency (a VATSIM thing. Don't ask. Google it.) He then started apologizing for having "internet problems" which meant he wasn't going to bother actually FLYING his route. He would slew up to his cruising altitude and blame it on "lag". Fucking morons. They can't navigate, they can't communicate and they most certainly can't fucking fly. If you took half of the fuckin' hose bags on VATSIM out of their airliners and put them into Cessnas and told them to fly from one VOR to the next. They wouldn't be able to do it. And they wouldn't even have the slightest desire to learn how to do it. I find that very sad. And very fuckin' pathetic.

Caution! Venting in progress.

2010-04-29T06:12:00.001-05:00

1.) The plural of aircraft is aircraft. Not "aircrafts".

2.) The plural of knife is knives. Not "knifes".

3.) An aircraft hangar is not spelled "hanger".

4.) How the hell did so many people graduate from high school without being able to use "there, their and they're" properly?

5.) In regards to number four, are kids actually smarter these days? Or have the standards just been lowered so much that they all appear that way?

6.) If you take notice between text messages, the round thing in front of you is called a steering wheel. Your hands need to be on it. So, put the fuckin' phone down and drive.

7.) I frequently hear truck drivers ask "Is there something I can help you with?" The proper answer is "No sir, not at the moment. If I need help I'll let you know." What I really want to say is "Yes. You can help me by staying the hell out of my way and letting me do my job."
___________________
*For virtual pilots only.

8.) If you are flying from Chicago to Miami by going from VOR to VOR, it might not be a good idea to have your first way point in Florida. Illinois and Indiana have some very nice VOR beacons.

9.) IFR cruise altitudes from 000 to 179 degrees are ODD thousands of feet. From 180 to 359 degrees cruise altitudes are in EVEN thousands of feet. "Easterners are odd" Memorize it.

10.) In the real world, pilots learn to fly in Piper Cubs, Cessna 172s etc. and build upon those first flights. Gradually working towards more complicated aircraft. In the virtual world, there's pilots who can fly a Boeing 767 with a full FMS across the Atlantic, but can't do something as simple as intercepting a VOR radial.

11.) The CDI while on an ILS approach is twice as sensitive as it is when tracking a VOR radial.

12.) Intercepting the localizer at a ninety degree angle, at the FAF, at 250 knots is not a good idea (see number 11).

Hard Times

2010-03-15T02:16:00.003-05:00

To quote a song from Skip James, "Hard times is here people. They're everywhere you go." It's common knowledge that the US economy is in the crapper. Cities have lost jobs due to factory closings and such. The town I live in had a factory close quite awhile ago and most people were expecting something to happen instantly. The first people affected by the closing were, obviously, the factory employees themselves but the town didn't dry up as some people feared. Since the factory closed, the effects have trickled down to a lot of other places in town. The railroad and trucking industries took a big hit because supplies didn't need to be brought in and there were no products to take out. The local stores have suffered a lack of business because people don't have any expendable income. Bars, restaurants, liquor stores, grocery stores and such have reduced operating hours because there's no more need to stay open late. Unless, of course, they haven't gone out of business altogether. With so many people out of work, the types of jobs a person wouldn't even consider before are suddenly taken and work in general can be hard to find. It's general knowledge that the trucking industry is usually the first to suffer from a downturn in the economy, but it also is usually the first to recover from a crappy economy. Being a truck mechanic, I was affected by the local factory closing soon after the truckers. If there's not enough products to haul, they can't work, and if the truckers aren't working they don't need their trucks worked on. Because of this, the amount of hours I put in has gone down and it's hurting me financially. Not that I was a rich man before, I just didn't have to worry about money too much, but lately there's a gloomy feeling over everything. It's difficult some days to remain somewhat happy with life. I keep telling myself that I need to be thankful for what I do have. Still, sometimes it's hard to shake that gloomy feeling. Especially when I walked by a local liquor store yesterday and saw that the product on the shelves was wearing thin and the coolers were empty. I've been watching this particular liquor store slowly die and it saddens me because seeing the place so low on product means there isn't money to buy new product to restock the shelves. Since there's hardly anything to sell... Well, you know what comes next. It's the thought of how, in this current economical situation, I could suddenly find myself out of work. It's this thought that is always in the back of my head and I have to keep making an effort to not let that thought dominate my daily life. If I lost my job I have some reserves to live off of, but it won't support me for long. I also think about where I'd be able to find another job. I probably wouldn't be able to find work as a mechanic too easily. The other shops in the area are just as slow as the one I work at. I told myself years ago when I finally got back into my chosen career that I wouldn't let it slip away again. But if I find myself needing a new job, I'm not going to be very picky. I'll take what I can get and hang on until things get better. It's all we can do really. Just hang on. I've heard many people say that the worst has come and things are starting to get better, but can we believe it? Are the people saying how things are getting better just trying to keep our spirits up? I don't know for sure, nor do I care. What I'm concentrating on is how people are beginning to be upbeat and positive. To me, it's the first sign that we, as a society, are beginning to pick ourselves up and are hoping for a better tomorrow. It's this human spirit that I find myself relying upon more an more. We just have to hang on. We'll make it through this.

'Tis the season to be... jolly?

2009-12-12T04:05:00.003-06:00

Just in case you didn't know, winter is upon us. Last weekend I was beginning to believe this whole "mild winter" crap we've been hearing in this part of the world. However, earlier this week the shit hit the fan and winter came on strong and swift. We got a shit-load of snow one day, but the temperature wasn't low enough to bitch about. As usual, I spoke too soon. The day after we got all the snow I went out on a service call (more on that in a bit) with the temperature hovering around 25 to 30F. If you don't live in a part of the world where it snows I'll explain something about it. A snow storm is akin to a rain storm in a way except for the fact that it's cold and nobody is running around in shorts. The humidity goes up a little, there's cloud cover and there's a slight haze hanging in the air. Well, while I was working this particular service call I suddenly realized that the sky had cleared and the wind had picked up. The only thought I had was "Oh shit!" Around here when the sky clears it means that it is going to get really, really cold. On top of the drop in temperature the wind chill factor made it seem colder yet. The next day I was at a rest area off of the interstate on a service call and the combination of low temperature and wind chill was just brutal. I'd work for five minutes, warm up in the service truck for five minutes, work for five minutes etc. I've never experienced winter in a place where it doesn't get cold. I keep telling myself that if I moved away I'd miss the snow, and it's a true statement for the most part. Lately I've been wondering if I'm not crazy for thinking that. Winter was always something I could deal with until I became a diesel mechanic. Having to work outside in this crap totally sucks. Throw in all the other stuff I bitch about on this blog and winter is a bad thing. The worst winter service calls are the ones where it's not only cold outside, but the job at hand doesn't allow me to keep moving. Changing tires, brake chambers, brakes etc. helps keep me warm due to the physical activity. Standing in one place or laying on ice underneath a trailer becomes a bone chilling event. I don't know how I managed to finish the service call at the rest area. I couldn't concentrate on the job because I could only think about how freakin' cold it was.

Now for the service call I promised to write about earlier. We got a call from a large trucking company asking us if we could run a service call for them. They told us the trailer had a leaking brake chamber. OK, not a problem. The foreman handed me a chamber, the paperwork and off I went. I found the driver and his rig in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot with big piles of snow all around. I got out of the truck and started filling out paperwork. Once the paperwork was done I took a quick look under the trailer and what do I find? A brake chamber completely torn off, dangling by the air hoses that attach to it. I look further and see a torque rod broken cleanly into two pieces. Then I turn around and finally see the boulders underneath the trailer with tire tracks leading to them. Putting two and two together, I realize the driver had cut a corner thinking he'd just roll over the snow bank a little. Well, the snow bank had a nasty surprise inside. There was no way I'd get that thing fixed that night because the job required parts that would have to be ordered. I have no idea why this driver thought about going through that particular part of the parking lot, but after speaking with him I knew he was a noob. Even though I couldn't fix the trailer that night, I had to get him out of the way. Being late in the evening the parking lot was almost empty so there was plenty of room to get this guy through the lot and off to the side. But, first I had to get those boulders out of the way. "Hmmm, how am I going to move those things?" A chain wrapped around the rock and attached to the service truck worked, but I couldn't figure out how to get the rocks out of the way. Then like in the "when a door is closed, a window is opened" thing, I see a couple of guys getting into their pickup truck and their truck had a snow plow on it. "Excuse me, sir. Would you do me a favor and push those rocks into that snow bank over there?" That was one more problem solved. That turned out to be the easier part of this service call. Trying to work with "junior" to get his truck moved made my brain hurt. I'd tell him to leave the brake buttons pushed in and wait for air pressure to reach its maximum before trying to move. He'd do exactly as instructed, but when the air pressure peaked, he'd pull both brake buttons out which set the parking brakes. He'd then push them back in and try moving the rig. After a few rounds of this I finally told him "Do not do anything unless I specifically tell you to do it." I was thinking that an experienced driver would know what I was telling him to do without having to give step by step instructions. But then again, an experienced driver would never have tried to go through this parking lot. I finally get the driver and his rig way off to the side of the parking lot and start making a list of parts that will be needed to repair the trailer. Called the company back and let them know what was going on and that it would probably be early evening the next day before we could have the trailer repaired. I fully expected to be back the next night (Thursday night) to complete the job, but it was not to be. We had to wait until Friday for the torque rod to come in, the catch being that I had to meet the parts guy in another city to get the part. Heck, I don't mind getting paid to drive. I meet the parts guy and get the final part on my list then head back to where "junior" left the trailer. I was thinking how the job might be an ass kicker, but at least "junior" wouldn't be there to bother me. He was still there. A normal company would have had the driver drop the trailer and head off to pick up another load, but not this one. "Junior" had been at that Wal-Mart since Wednesday afternoon because his dispatcher told him to stay put. Totally ridiculous in my opinion. The job took awhile, but it wasn't as bad as I had expected. There wasn't even any wind so I actually was nice and toasty most of the time. After completing my work, I woke up the driver and told him to start the engine (truck had an APU to keep him warm without running the main engine) and let air build until the air dryer popped. He asks me "How will I know when it pops?" I did a mental forehead slap and somewhat sarcastically said "It will make a 'PPSSSSSSSHHHHHHH' sound." No air leaks, parking brakes released... "Alright, buddy. You're good to go. Have a safe trip." I'm really disappointed with the quality of drivers being put behind the wheel these days. I've come to enjoy doing service calls for the salty old owner operators because they know so much about their job and their trucks.

Weddings

2009-11-21T05:05:00.002-06:00

I can't stand weddings anymore. How could anyone get excited about a wedding these days? Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with marriage, it's just the "show" that I can't stand. The typical bride thinks she's going to have the wedding she's dreamed about since she was a little girl. She'll want it to be all her own, better than other weddings, but it usually ends up being just like the others. There will be a small army of bride's maids and groomsmen who usually look less than interested in the whole dog and pony show. The bride's maids have to purchase their dresses, which is stupid, and the groomsmen have to rent poorly fitting tuxedos. A night or two before the event there's usually a rehearsal. I don't know why. I'm surprised that there's anyone out there that doesn't know how things go. Everyone's at the church/local garden/backyard early. There's a lot of milling around after changing into dresses or tuxedos until the photographer calls people up. This is the time when the wedding party gets their photos taken. Groomsmen lined up on either side of the groom, holding the groom off the ground, lined up with one hand in a pocket etc. After the routine groomsmen shots, the groom is shooed away and the bride is brought down. Same routine, different spouse. Lined up either side, lined up hand in pocket, bride on best man's knee... the groom is doing something similar with the bride's maids during this time. Pre-game photos done, the wedding party lines up outside the sanctuary with the last bride's maid and last groomsmen at the front, maid of honor and best man at the end. The first pair walks down the aisle and when they get half-way down, the next pair starts down the aisle. The pairs split when they reach the front and go off to their respective sides. Repeat until the maid of honor (henceforth referred to as MOH) and the best man (BM) are in place. The groom walks out on cue from the minister and waits awkwardly until the ho-hum organist starts the wedding march. The bride and her father then walk down the aisle. The bride cries and gives her father a peck on the cheek and a hug before she's passed off to the groom. The bride and groom take the usual spot on the top step, in front of the minister and the MOH will pass her flowers to the gal behind her so she can straighten the mile long train on the bride's dress. The minister starts his monologue. The next hour or more is nothing but songs, communion (if applicable), lighting of the unity candle, more monologue, another song, exchange of vows (which are mostly a joke these days), the presentation of the newly minted husband and wife, then the exit which is just the entrance reversed. After everyone exits there's the three hours of sitting on your ass waiting to be called for the standard wedding photos. The bride and groom with every possible combination of wedding party and/or family. Ahhh, but it's not just bride, groom, wedding party and family waiting around. The guests are outside wondering when the hell the bride and groom will be coming out so the damned bubbles can be used. OK, run of the mill photo session done, bride and groom exit church to be showered with bubbles. Bride & groom, wedding party, a couple of kids and some family members get into the limo/bus/old car/carriage... whatever, then head to at least one bar just long enough for the best man to get a beer and have a few sips from it before everyone is rounded up to leave. "Son of a bitch! Couldn't even finish my beer!" At long last, everyone arrives at the place where the reception is being held. But wait! We haven't come to the end of this script yet. By this time, the only thing the people in the wedding party want to do is just sit down and relax, but noooooo. Wedding party pairs up yet again, bride and groom at the end of the line, and the pairs are announced as they enter the hall. The bride and groom, obviously, get the biggest round of applause as they enter. Finally at the head table, the wedding party gets to sit down and eat some sort of food that has been prepared in bulk (unless you're lucky and get some home cooked buffet chow, but it's rare). The minister provides a prayer and dinner is served. Though blinded by incessant use of flash from the photographer, dinner is started. Then comes the round of toasts *groan* in this order. BM/MOH, bride, groom and then the bride and groom's parents. Champagne and other booze is consumed until the cake cutting is ready to go. Bride and groom both grasp the knife and slice off cake for themselves, pose for the photographer and then they may or may not shove it in each others face. After the cake walk is done the DJ, who until now has been outside smoking while his "dinner music" CD/playlist runs, comes in to start his bride and groom dance. This is followed by parents dancing with bride or groom and the groomsmen dancing with their respective bride's maids after that. Depending on the DJ, the next thing will either be the dollar dance or the bouquet/garter toss. We'll go with the toss in this example. The single women (a few girls thrown in for the "cuteness" factor) gather while the bride is spun 'round a few times. The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder causing the single women to look like a pack of wild dogs going after a fresh kill as they scramble to catch the bouquet. Then the single men are begrudgingly pulled away from the bar or the outside smoking area to gather for the garter toss. The bride is placed upon the BM's knee, the DJ spins the beaten-to-death striptease music and the groom sticks his head up the bride's dress to remove her garter with his teeth. As with the bride, the groom is spun 'round and then tosses the garter over his shoulder. The single men (with a few boys in there for "cuteness factor") make a half-hearted attempt to catch the garter and, unless the garter happens to land directly on some guy, it will fall to the floor only to be scooped up by one of the boys because they have know idea what the whole process means. Next up is the "dollar dance" segment. This is usually the time when the wedding party, who has been bored out of their skulls until now, starts perking up. Some of it has to do with the booze that's been consumed and some of it has to do with the fact that they know this is their last "duty" in this three ring circus. The bride and groom are placed on the dance floor, usually in front of the DJ's booth, and guests line up. Women line up for a dance with the groom (with the occasional guy mixed in there for laughs) and men line up for a dance with the bride (with the occasional woman in there for laughs). The BM takes the dollar bills from the women and limits the amount of time they have with the groom and the MOH is doing the same thing over by the bride. Finally, the dollar dance comes to an end and everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief. Obligations to the bride and groom done, the wedding party splits up to socialize with the people of their choosing. The people not crafty enough to know how to escape it, will have to suffer the "chicken dance" and the "hokey pokey" sometime during the night. Usually early enough so that the old people can either watch or participate. The rest of it is just a typical night at a bar, but in formal wear. Guys looking to score with the good looking single ladies and fat/ugly ladies trying to break out of their shells enough to (maybe) score with some drunk groomsmen. There might be some people passing out, or there might be an angry drunk to spoil things. The night finally winds down and everyone goes their separate ways, hoping that the marriage they just witnessed is one that will buck the odds and last. The BM and MOH might wind up back at the church getting the b&g's shit together and cars moved where they need to be. All the while realizing that despite the bride's planning of every minute detail of her wedding for three years in advance, nobody had thought of how to get gifts, clothes, vehicles etc. to the proper places. Luckily(?) the over-achieving, annoying, obsessive-compulsive, batshit-insane friend of the bride (who's bitter about not having been the MOH or even a bride's maid) starts barking out orders. The MOH and BM ignore her and go about getting things done. It's 02:00 after all, and everyone's tired and possibly grumpy.

Think I've been in a few weddings? Trust me, it's been more than a few. I'll never be in one again, that's a fact. A good friend called me a couple of years ago and said he was getting married. I was in his first wedding and was placed at the end of the line. At least the gal I was paired with was smokin' hot. Anyway, he called me not long after I had been through yet another wedding as best man. I was thoroughly sick of weddings by then and when he asked me to go out to California for his second wedding, I told him that I didn't have any vacation time left and was about to explain that I couldn't afford the trip when he hung up on me. I wasn't too concerned. I hadn't exactly seen him much the previous five years and I don't remember him returning my emails or phone calls. I guess I was an on-demand friend at that point. Besides, I honestly don't think I could have faked my way through another wedding.

Safety Is #1... or not

2009-10-17T07:31:00.002-05:00

My week of being on call is winding down and I only have another fourteen or so hours left until the next guy takes over. I just had a call from one of the larger companies and the dude wanted to know if I could "help him out." This person had a truck broken down on the side of the road because a set of wheels came off the trailer. It sounds terrible, but it happens quite frequently when people don't maintain their equipment and drivers don't do pre-trip inspections like they're supposed to. Anyway, I was starting to think about how I'd have to tell him the trailer would be stuck until Monday when he says something that shocked me. He asked me to go out there and chain up the axle so the driver could get to his destination. His destination was four hours away! Uh, no. I'm not going to do that. I was told that there was only about 12,000 pounds in the trailer and that he's had this done before. WTF?! I told him that I'd chain up the axle to either get the rig off of the road or back to our shop for repairs, but no further. I could just picture my boss's insurance rates going up and the costs related to a lawsuit if the thing crashed and, you know, killed a busload of nuns or something. Besides, any DOT official would have to break out a fresh violation booklet if that trailer should get pulled off into a scale. I can just hear it now. "So, who chained up this axle and let you go?" The cops would let us take the trailer to our shop for repairs, but wouldn't ever let it proceed down the road. I can't believe the dude who called me actually thought we'd do that sort of thing. It's just fucking crazy! After I refused to do something so stupid, the jerk asks me if there's anyone else in the area that could do that for him. I gave him the name of another shop in the area which I know well. I know the guy who'd be running the call and he's not stupid enough to do it either. But that's not all! The company which called me also has other surprises that I learned the hard way. A vendor can only get paid between the hours of 09:00 and 17:00, Monday-Friday. The last service call I did for this company (it was about two years ago) was on a Saturday afternoon. I was on hold for an hour and a half before I actually talked to someone and got paid. I had to keep scratching out the total and adding on more time. They got billed an extra $135.00 for the time I was on hold. That was under the old rates, it would be a lot more expensive now. The dude who got me set up with a com check was some mechanic in one of their shops and he sounded totally worn out. He was the only person there and I think every department, from corporate on down, kept transferring the phones right down the chain until it got to the person I spoke with. So, having thought of the trouble with getting paid coupled with the extreme liability concerns, I politely refused. My boss hardly EVER turns work down regardless of how crazy it might seem, but I think he'd agree with me on this one. Besides, I have past experiences to draw from. One time we had a guy come to the shop after one of my coworkers went out to chain an axle after some serious wheel bearing failure. He found out that we couldn't get parts NOW and he wanted to pay for the service call (including the chain) and take off so he could get his load where it needed to be. My foreman at the time said "No, you're not taking that trailer anywhere in that condition. It's not safe." The driver turned into a real asshole and was calling everyone names and threatening us (not wise in a diesel shop). He was outside talking to someone on his cell phone trying to figure what to do. After a little bit, my foreman asked me where the guy was. I told him I last saw him outside. He wasn't there. He took off down the road. With our chain holding up one end of a trailer axle. We knew where he was headed because we always where a driver's headed. If someone runs off without paying or, as in the case of Mr. Angry, takes off with an unsafe trailer, we know what to tell the state patrol. And call the state patrol we did. I found out later that the dude didn't even make it two miles from the shop before he was stopped by the state patrol. It was this experience which led to my decision to not help the moron who called me today. The rig isn't going anywhere. Well anywhere too far. If he had asked me to fix it, it wouldn't happen because I wouldn't be able to find parts anywhere until Monday. If I did chain up the axle, he'd probably have to pull into a scale somewhere along the line and they'd put the rig out of service until it could be repaired. The dude is shit outta luck, plain and simple.

It's only a box, but...

2009-10-14T01:56:00.004-05:00

"Home is where the heart is." You read it and hear that phrase all the time. You see it done in needle point, paintings, wood carvings, blankets, posters, photographs... So much that we tend to take it for granted and not think about the meaning. Home truly is where the heart is. The house is just a big box. A box that contains and shelters the people you love and who love you, a box that contains "home." I keep reminding myself of this fact because the house that was home, is being sold. I haven't lived there for ten years and have a house of my own, but Mom still lived there and it was always "home" to me. In fact, right now I'm noticing that referring to this place in the past tense is rather awkward. My parents bought this house before me and my brother were born. My Sister and oldest brother were still fairly young when the family moved in. It seems rather rare these days for a family to stay put in one place for very long, but this house was the family home for around 44 years. There's so many things that happened in that house that I can't possibly remember them all. I knew Mom was going to sell the place for quite some time, but it didn't really sink in until I saw the "for sale" sign planted firmly in the middle of the front yard. I hit it with the lawn mower. My Dad passed the lawn mowing duties to me when I was a pre-teen. Being the youngest I was permanently on lawn mowing detail until recently. I'd mowed that lawn for around twenty two years! You can probably understand why I hit the sign in the front yard. It's the only thing that's changed in that yard for a long, long time. I was daydreaming like usual and then *CLANG*, I hit the sign. I just sort of stopped and stared at it. It was swinging on the post a bit as if to taunt me. The family had been fixing up the new house Mom was going to be living in and slowly, a little at a time, she would move things from the old house to the new one. The old house had a lot of boxes sitting around upstairs and some of the smaller furniture was gone, but it still looked like "home." My sister-in-law (a truly wonderful lady) helped Mom sort through all of the "stuff" and helped with packing and moving the smaller things. One Sunday when I was over for dinner Mom presented me with a tote full of stuff. That lady had every report card I'd received, baby stuff, school related stuff and the like packed into this tote. Apparently aside from being "home", the house was also the family archive. Then came moving day. In the space of six hours, the family had emptied our house of everything that was left. Except the garage, but more on that in a few minutes. I was selected as U-Haul driver. Apparently because having a Class A CDL made me the most qualified to drive an F-350 with a square box on it *shrugs*. I also deemed myself "Assistant Move Coordinator." The irony of the situation is even though I didn't want to see my home disappear, I wanted the move done right and as efficiently as possible. I'd reminded myself that the house isn't important, it's my Mother that's important. Though they weren't my Father's dying words, one of the last duties he'd assigned to me was "Take care of your Mother." What he told me has been in the back of my mind since he died and I hope that, in his eyes, I've been doing a good job. So, the night before moving day I started hauling stuff out on my own in my little truck. I wanted the next day to go smoothly with the least amount of stress for Mom. I had to be out of bed by 09:00 on moving day and I was tired right away. Having worked nights at almost every job I've had, getting up before noon is rather difficult. I knew I'd have a hard time seeing my home slowly emptied so I put it out of my mind and turned into a sleepy robot. Load the truck, drive the truck, empty the truck, repeat as necessary. After everything had been moved and the truck returned, I went back to the "old house" (the place had changed designations sometime during the move). I had a garage to empty out. Having been the last of my siblings to have lived there, I knew what was going into the trash pile or the "keep" pile. Once I got to the old house I realized that I was alone. I unlocked the back door and walked in. It was a very, very strange feeling that came over me. Even though everything was gone, my mind was so used to seeing things in the same spots for so long, that I just couldn't grasp that the place was empty. The other senses didn't help things any. The familiar sounds of doors opening and closing, creaks in the floors and steps, the familiar smells... It sounded like home, it looked like home and it smelled like home. "Is it home?" I asked myself. I really didn't know. If you asked me about some of my memories about home last year, I could have pulled a couple of the big ones off the top of my head, but having to think about it, I wouldn't have been able to recall too many. Being there alone, however, was different. As I walked from one empty room to the next, the memories came flooding back. It was almost more than I could take and I started to cry a little bit. The one place on the planet where I always felt totally and completely safe, was now gone. I felt... lost. Then the sun came shining through the windows. During the move, the weather had played its part well. It was cold, cloudy and gloomy. Then, as I was at the lowest point of the day, the sun breaks out. Now, I wouldn't call myself "religious" by any means, but I am spiritual. I'd like to think that My Dad, my brother, my grandparents, uncle Jack and the other family members so important to me who have passed on, were behind those rays of sunshine. They were giving me the support I needed so badly at that time the only way they could. It rejuvenated me and, though very tired, I got what I needed to carry on with the task at hand. I backed my truck into the garage and went back to "robot" mode. Load truck, drive truck, empty truck... I got back to my place at 23:00 that night. The only stuff left were some things my brother could sort out. There's some tool boxes from Dad still there, but those will be removed before the closing date. The following week was a bit strange, but being at work took my mind off of things. After leaving Mom's new place to return the rental truck, I didn't go back. So, I hadn't seen the new place "arranged" yet. This past Sunday, I went over for Sunday dinner like I usually do (the older I get, the more I appreciate a "home" cooked meal) and I finally saw her new house set up the way she wanted it and everything started falling into place. I looked at the kitchen floor, the fresh paint on the walls, the new tile in the bathroom, the familiar furniture and realized that all of the work was done out of love. Not for money, not to collect "loot" from old tool boxes and such. It was MY family working together because we all love each other. As I sat at the counter eating dinner with my Mother, I put it all together. My family is what I love, love comes from my heart and my heart is with my family. "Home is where the heart is."

My Dad

2009-08-31T01:15:00.002-05:00

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me writing is good therapy. I don't really care if these posts are read or not. Sometimes I simply need to get things off of my chest, and now is one of those times.

When I was 22 my father died after a long battle with cancer. He slipped away peacefully in his own home while he was asleep. The last few days of his life he'd become a little loopy due to the cancer having spread throughout his body and I was preparing myself for the time he'd be gone. One night I came home from work (I was living with my parents at the time) and popped in a movie down in the living room. My aunt and uncle were asleep upstairs because they'd come for a visit knowing that Dad wasn't going to last much longer. My sister had been spending as much time as possible with Dad, but she'd had to go back to work. As I was watching the movie, I heard my Mom get out of bed. She came into the living room and I thought she was going to tell me the TV was too loud. She had that "just woke up" look and in a totally normal voice she said "He's gone." Mom had grown used to the sound of my Dad breathing through the oxygen machine and she woke up because the sound had changed due to Dad having passed away. Contrary to what you see in the movies, there's no instant crying. What I felt was nothing. I was totally numb. I went upstairs to my aunt and uncle that Dad was gone and came back downstairs. By then all the lights were on and I went in to take a look at Dad. Someone had to close his eyes and that someone was me. I didn't want to do it, but I had to do it.

The way my mind handles grief is like a time-release pill. A little bit is broken off, dealt with and then put away. Repeat as necessary. Even though Dad died in 1994, every now and again something will trigger a memory I had buried about that night. Tonight I was watching the show "Without A Trace" and Jack's father died. That show triggered my memory of my Dad's eyes the night he died. I'd always remembered closing his eyes, but tonight I remembered what his eyes looked like. Dad's eyelids were half shut and I could see his grayish-green eyes. It's very true that a dead person's eyes definitely look lifeless. It's that memory, a little piece of the grief, that came out tonight fifteen years later after the event. I thought that I'd "gotten over it" but I don't think anyone ever does. I loved my Dad and having him die when I was only 22 changed me.

After I had closed Dad's eyes I stood up and looked at him for a little bit. I turned around and my Uncle was standing there. That's when I lost it. I grabbed my Uncle and started crying. He hugged me and said "He's in a better place now". I don't know who was making the phone calls, but my sister wanted to be there and was in no condition to drive down and my brother in law would have to stay with the kids. So, I went to pick her up and she was crying almost the whole way back. I don't know how I kept my wits about me. Maybe it was youth, maybe it was because I'd already released some of the anguish earlier... I don't know. By the time I'd returned, the funeral directors were there to take Dad away. They told us that sometimes the family would stay in a different room because seeing their loved one taken away was too painful. Some of my family went to the basement, but I stayed upstairs. I honestly can't remember who else was with me, but I watched Dad's body being carried out. I knew it was just a shell, that Dad wasn't in there anymore. He'd been released from all the pain and suffering. I understood that. I remember the visitation and parts of the funeral service at church, but I can't recall the burial. After that, life was a matter of us learning how to live without him. Every now and then, something will make me think of Dad and sometimes that leads to a bit of crying. Tonight is one of those times.

The Borg

2009-08-12T06:09:00.003-05:00

The diesel borg is trying to assimilate me. At the shop I work at I don't do much engine work aside from replacing the things bolted to the outside. Coolant pumps, exhaust manifolds, thermostats etc. Every now and again they throw an injector job my way, but those are so few that I have a hard time remembering how to change them. It's fine with me, because I'm not really interested in engine work and I don't know enough about heavy duty diesel engines to do that sort of thing. If I have a decent service manual at my disposal I can do whatever needs to be done, but it takes me a lot longer than someone who does engine work frequently. Things seem to be changing these days. I've been given more engine work and I'm not sure why. Maybe the foreman is getting tired of doing it (he's gettin' pretty old) or they've realized that my neat, clean and orderly working habits (bordering on obsesive-compulsive) are suited to engine work. Last night I was doing a head gasket job on a Cummins M11 and much to my chagrin, I was actually liking it. I guess it's because I'm more familiar with diesels than I used to be. I have no problem tearing into a gas engine in a light truck or car, but I think my lack of knowledge with diesels made me fear having to work on them. Adjusting valves on a diesel is humorous though. Car engines haven't required regular valve adjustment for decades, but the archaic diesels that are installed in big trucks still have to be "tuned up" from time to time. It's a perfect example of how big trucks are "old tech." Speaking of old technology, while I was working on that M11 there was a driver in the next bay talking cars with my foreman. The driver gave the old "I'll work on old cars, but the new ones.... What do you need all those wires for?" I smiled to myself and thought "Oh great another one of those guys." The truck this guy owned was an old and decrepit 1996 Freightliner with a Cummins N14 engine. Which, of course, is all mechanical. I was wondering if he kept clinging to that old clunker so he didn't have to drive something with one of those "new fangled electronic pieces of shit." Back to the engine work. I'm not knocking guys who like doing engine work. Someone who's a good engineman is a valuble asset in any shop. It's just not the thing for me. I never understood the fascination with engine guys. Just because someone can spit out specifications for a few engines doesn't necessarily mean he's good. It just means he has a great memory. But, the guys who get all their specs from memory aren't always right. They do things the same way so often that they think it's not just the right way, it's the ONLY way. For example, the last time I was being punished with a valve adjustment job, before I could find the engine's data plate (valve lash specs are always on the data plate) my foreman spit out HIS specs. By the time he finished his sentence I had found the data plate and *snicker* he was wrong. Now, I know better than to tell him he's wrong so I made sure he saw me writing down what he told me and even asked him to repeat the specs. There's a touch of the "I'm right" disease in our shop and I'm just as guilty as anyone. Nobody wants to admit they were wrong and I learned early in my employment at this shop that it's easiest to salute, say "Yes sir!" and then do the job how you want to do it. This sort of thing happens so often that a former coworker and I would salute each other whilst being lectured by someone who was "right." So, what I did with that valve adjustment was said "Yes sir!" and waited for the foreman to hide in the office. Then I did the job with the manufacturer's specifications. Everyone walks away happy. I guess things like that contribute to me not wanting to do engine work. Because I have to do it their way, and their way might not work well for me. Since I'm a bit of a noob with engine work, I frequently do things the way I'm told to. If I find a way that works better for ME, then I do it my way. In the end, if they'd just provide me with a service manual and leave me the hell alone, I'd probably be happy doing engine work. It's a small shop though, so the politics will always be getting in the way. Maybe I just don't play well with others.

Shattered images

2009-07-02T01:17:00.002-05:00

Check out this gentleman's blog entry

Click Here

This guy makes Norris style hand planes and his work is top notch. The photos I've seen of his planes show the high standards he has and his quality workmanship. I'd never be able to afford one, but it's nice to day dream about having one. Through another blog I found this toolmaker's blog. I started reading his posts and was marveling at the photos showing how he makes his planes. Then, while reading the post I posted the link to, I saw a photo of him closing some dovetails with a hammer and punch. Scroll down until you see that particular photo. Did you see the size of the mushroom on the punch he's using? Anyone who's taken a shop class in junior high or high school knows that having a mushroomed head on a punch or chisel is a big no-no. When a punch or chisel starts to develop a mushroom you take it over to the grinder and grind a slight taper on the head. It's a safety thing. When a mushroom develops there's a good chance that one of the pieces can shoot off while striking the tool with a hammer. You'll never see a mushroomed head on my chisels or punches. Ever. But I know how much it hurts when a chip flies off of a mushroomed head. A coworker was holding a large punch while I was swinging the hammer and his punch was mushroomed pretty bad. I thought about grinding it for him, but the job would "just take a minute." Well, a chip flew off and hit me squarely in my left thigh. It went deep enough that I had to dig it out. Since that incident I will never, ever use a punch or chisel with a mushroomed head. If someone gets a punch or chisel out of their tool box and it has a mushroom growing on it, I'll ask them if I can grind it down for them and then do it. I only ask for permission as a courtesy. If they say "no" I'm grinding it anyway. Back to the plane maker. After building up a favorable image of this tool maker, I was really disappointed to see him using such a poorly maintained tool. He should know better. I'll bet he doesn't wear eye protection either. Have you ever read a woodworking magazine? They preach safety all the time, but you'll constantly see photos of people operating machinery without eye protection.

About biodiesel

2009-05-28T03:32:00.000-05:00

I've seen too many discussions about bio diesel that aren't about bio diesel at all. There's a lot of people confusing bio diesel with recycled fryer oil. Bio diesel is processed from vegetable oil (soy beans mostly) and ends up being, for the most part, like petroleum diesel. Fryer oil is a different story. The people burning old fryer oil (it has to be vegetable oil and not animal fat) are essentially burning it as it is. Of course, it has to be filtered properly and there's usually a fuel heater involved. Can fryer oil be filtered and then processed into bio diesel? Yes. Can vegetable oil be dumped straight into a fuel tank? Yes, but keep your mechanic on speed dial and don't bitch when he hands you the repair bill. A diesel engine will run on just about anything that's combustible. It won't run reliably, or for very long without breaking down, but it will run. A diesel will even run on the engine's lube oil. Just ask someone who's experienced a turbo charger failure about that one. If you're thinking that bio diesel is a wonderful thing and the answer to all of this countries oil dependency and environmental problems, you might be wearing rose colored glasses. Firstly, the manufacturing capacity for a major switch to bio diesel isn't up to the task. Yet. Secondly, 100% bio diesel does NOT mix well with winter in the northern climates. It CAN perform well in cold temperatures, but it has to be treated properly. Truckers are used to treating fuel in the winter, so this wouldn't be a major issue in big trucks. The average Joe (and I'm being honest here) won't treat the fuel. Average Joe wants the convenience of pulling up to the pump, swiping a credit card, filling the tank and driving off. Lastly, bio diesel when it appeared on a large scale, blended in with petroleum diesel (B5, B10, B20) it got a bad rap. Bio diesel also has the image of being a "tree-huggin' hippie fuel" (I actually heard a truck driver say this) and not a "manly-man" fuel like petroleum diesel. The biggest problem that I have seen with bio diesel is that the average Joe didn't bother to learn anything about it. Had they picked up a trade magazine or had done some internet searches, they would've found out that bio diesel is an excellent solvent. 100% bio diesel (B100) all the way down to a 20% bio/80% petroleum blend (B20) is going to cause some initial problems for the first few fill ups. Fuel systems using petroleum based diesel are always a bit grungy, especially at the bottom of the tank. Switching over to a B20 or higher blend is going to scrub the fuel system clean. Guess where all of the crap ends up? That's right, in the fuel filter(s) right where it's supposed to go. The catch is that the filter(s) have to be changed more often until the fuel system has been cleaned out (the switch from "low sulfur diesel" to "ultra-low sulfur diesel" caused a similar problem). When you mix alarmingly frequent fuel filter changes with a notoriously technology-fearing group like the majority of truck drivers out there, the fuel itself makes for a convenient scapegoat. The last thing I want to mention is cost as it relates to the people producing their own bio diesel. You can't realistically expect to produce bio diesel at home for personal use and expect to spend less money than you would if you purchased your fuel down at the corner Qwik Stop. At least not until Billy Mays starts selling the "Home bio diesel" kits for $19.99 on some info-mercial. My closing thoughts are these. Bio diesel is a good thing, and I'd like to see more people using it, even if it's only one of the blends out there. The manufacturers of both bio diesel and diesel engines will have to get things working well in cold temperatures without much, if any, involvement from drivers. Reliably. Finally, the general public needs to be educated about bio diesel.

Take a trip to www.biodiesel.org and read up.

Buses and claustrophobia

2009-04-18T17:34:00.004-05:00

I had to go on a service call Thursday evening to repair a bus that was leaning severely to the right. No mechanic in his right mind likes working on buses. Just look at them. They're so low to the ground that a person can barely fit under it, if at all. Throw in an air suspension problem and the bus is even closer to the ground. I was the only mechanic available in the shop at that time and that meant I got stuck with this service call. We spoke with the owner of the coach and he told us what needed to be done. Apparently they've had this same problem with most of their coaches, so this guy new the fix for it. There's a leveling valve for each side of the bus which, in a primitive sort of way, gives the bus something like independent suspension. Most trucks have only one leveling valve to control all air bags (or air springs if you prefer) and it's adequate for the job. A bus on the other hand, is all about ride quality.

A leveling valve, properly called a "ride height control valve" or RHCV, is a very simple thing. The valve has (mounted to the vehicle's chassis), at the minimum, three ports. One port delivers an air supply to the valve, a second port will supply air to the bags, and the third port is an exhaust port. Sticking out of the valve will also be a shaft to which a lever is attached. Moving this lever moves the internal parts of the valve and either lets air flow to the bags, or exhausts air from the bags. There's also a neutral position that neither supplies air nor exhausts air. So, we have a lever with one end connected to the valve, but what about the other end? The other end is connected to a linkage rod. This linkage rod is connected to whatever axle the leveling valve controls ride height for. So how does it all come together in operation? It's very, very simple. Air bags are filled with, no surprise, air. Air can be compressed and when a load on a vehicle is increased, the air inside the bags gets compressed. As the air in the bags compresses, the chassis of the vehicle starts to lower towards the ground. Now since an axle (axles aren't considered a "sprung" component) will remain stationary and the linkage rod won't flex, as the chassis lowers the linkage rod causes the valve's lever to move, in turn the lever operates the valve. As the valve shaft turns it uncovers (in this case) the supply port allowing air to flow into the bags. Not surprising at all, as air flows to the bags, the air pressure inside the bags increases. As the pressure increases, the bags will raise the vehicle back up to a pre-determined chassis ride height (set with the linkage rod.) Are you confused a little bit? If you are, it's okay. To understand the principles of how a leveling valve works, just go to your bathroom. Seriously. Pull the lid off of the toilet's tank and look inside. Think of the valve inside the tank as a leveling valve and think of the float as the linkage rod. The water in the tank is like the air supply to the leveling valve and think of the toilet bowl as the air bag. Now, flush the toilet. Notice that the float drops as water in the tank drains away. When the float drops, water flows through the valve into the tank. When the tank reaches the full mark, the float shuts off the valve, stopping water flow into the tank. That's how a leveling valve works :) Got it? Good.

Anyway, this bus I was out fixing had a common problem. The owner told me to disconnect the air lines from the valve and look for debris blocking the ports. This would be a simple job if it were a truck, but it was a bus with all of the bags on the right side deflated. It looked like the leaning tower of Pisa, believe me. Guess where the leveling valves were? In between the drive axle and tag axle where there was a lot of room to work? Hell no! They were in front of the drive axle, above some really big air tanks. I thought I'd crawl in between the drive axle and tag axle (the tag is to the rear of the drive BTW) wiggle through some torque rods and be able to get at the offending valve. Nope, didn't happen. I could see the valve just fine, but I couldn't reach it. Hmmm, now what? I called the owner again and asked him how I could get at this valve. His suggestion was obvious, but I hadn't thought of it. Buses, usually, can be raised and lowered manually if the need arises. Sometimes a bus needs some extra ground clearance to clear, oh say, a steep driveway entrance. The driver can operate a valve which bypasses the leveling valve and inflate the bags to maximum capacity. It's not really safe to go down the road like that, but it's okay for low speed maneuvering. Back to the story. The driver raises the bus as high as it will go and as I looked in from the top of the right drive tires, I could see the leveling valve I needed to fix. There was one small problem though. With the bus raised I could fit between the top of the drive tires and the bottom of the bus's body, but disconnecting the leveling valve lines would cause the bags to deflate. If the bags deflated, the bus would lower. Crushing me like a rotten tomato. So, I had to find a way to do this job without ending up dead. I found that I could stack some blocks between the drive axle and the chassis. After doing so, I had to driver lower the bus. Of course with the blocks in place, the bus didn't go down, but the air bags deflated and I still had the clearance I needed to crawl in. Now I could get a wrench on the air line fittings. I couldn't, however, get my hand on the air line fittings. Not a big deal when removing the air lines, but I had to be able to get my hand on them to reconnect the lines. Twenty bolts later I had the fender flare removed and could put my hand on the leveling valve. After disconnecting the lines I used a blow gun to blast the leveling valve's ports and, sure enough, some big chunks of debris came shooting out. Not sure what it was, but it was white so I'm thinking it was pipe thread sealant. I reconnected the lines to the valve and had the driver start the engine to build air. After we had enough air pressure, the driver raised the bus and I removed the blocks I had put in. With the blocks removed, the driver lowered the bus and put it into "travel" mode. Woohoo!!! All of the bags inflated as they were supposed to. I bolted the fender flare back on and had the driver drive around the parking lot to make sure the leveling valve was still functioning. It did and that made me very happy. The service call ended on a high note because the driver paid in good 'ol cash! No comm check systems to deal with, no credit card hassles... cash is always nice. After a handshake and a "Have a safe trip" I was back on the road, heading for the shop.

I started to shake a little bit on the drive back because my fear started coming to the front of my mind. I have mild claustrophobia and being under a bus like I was scares me. Mix in the possibility of being crushed and things border on sheer terror for me. But the job isn't going to take care of itself. Trucks don't bother me because they're an "open air" environment you might say. Not buses. When I face situations like this I would rather be doing just about anything else, but somehow I manage to put my fear aside and scrape up enough courage to get the job done. I'll just have to deal with the fear later. Maybe one of these days I'll have a nice office job...

Hand cut dovetails

2009-04-14T14:40:00.002-05:00

I spend a lot of free time on woodworking projects of all sorts. I find it relaxing (most of the time) and it's a great way to de-stress after a rough day of fixing trucks. Last summer I started to do more work with hand tools and it has been quite a learning process. I've been concentrating on getting better at cutting dovetails and, for the most part, I'm improving. Slowly. If you go to YouTube and watch videos of a pro cutting dovetails or read about it in a woodworking magazine, it seems to be a very simple process. It is an easy process, but the execution is much more difficult. You'd think that something as simple as sawing to a line wouldn't be very difficult but it is. Another thing that can make dovetails frustrating is not knowing what a sharp tool is. Cutting dovetails with hand tools involves many different skills, and those skills don't come without some practice. For example, the previously mentioned sawing to a line. I thought it would be a simple matter of buying a backsaw, marking a line and then following it. As I found out, there's a lot to learn. It took a lot of practice to finally see that I consistently deviate from the line in one particular way. After more practice I learned how to prevent that deviation. I'm still not great at sawing, but I'm a lot better than I was a year ago. Oh, the saw itself plays a key role. I've found that a Japanese style pull saw (without a back) works well for me versus a traditional western style back saw. There's one style of western saw I've yet to try, but money is short and a new saw isn't in the cards at the moment. In the photo (it's a tailboard) you'll see the tails marked out. The shaded areas are the waste which needs to be removed. I use the pull saw to make the vertical cuts and then use a coping saw to make the horizontal cuts. If you are like me, you would probably mark a line and saw right down that line. That method doesn't make for nice fitting dovetails. The vertical cuts are made on the waste side of the lines and the horizontal cuts are done in a similar fashion, but I leave a little more waste. After the waste piece is cut free, I use a chisel to pare the wood down to the horizontal line (it's called a base line I believe.) Chiseling, there's another skill that didn't come naturally. The biggest problem with chiseling is having a properly sharpened tool. When I bought my first hand plane (a Record smoothing plane) and first set of chisels, I had no way to sharpen them. Hell, I thought they came out of the box ready to go. They don't, trust me. A trip to the "Big Orange Box" for a sharpening stone and I thought I had it made. Nope, not yet. After digging through the stacks of old woodworking magazines, I learned that the back of a chisel needs to be flattened before working on the bevel. The same goes for plane irons. After a few hours flattening chisels and plane irons, my arms felt like Jell-O and my fingers were raw. But, I had flat tools. Next it was on to the bevel. I used the side sharpening method on the bevels because it was easier for me to hold the tool in the proper way. Two hours later I had what I thought were some razor sharp chisels. Any professional woodworker would have declared them dull. I didn't know it at the time, but the cheap sharpening stone I bought (the only one I could find locally) was pretty shitty. I also had a hard time keeping the chisels in position while sharpening them. Mail order to the rescue! I bought a honing guide which eliminated my problems with holding the chisels, but I still had a crappy stone. The chisels were sharper than before, but not much. Last weekend I finally decided to give the "Scary Sharp" method a try and wish I would've done it years ago. It is nothing more than putting various grits of sandpaper onto a reliably flat surface (i.e. plate glass, marble, granite etc.) with spray adhesive. You start with the coarse grit and then work your way through the grits in succession until you reach the final one (2000 grit in my case). The combination of the honing guide, flat glass and the many grits of sanpaper yielded a mirror surface on the first chisel I sharpened. I gave that first chisel the age-old test of trying shave some hair off my arm. Shave it did, and cleanly at that. My plane has also been a joy to use. Right now, all of the skills I've been working on are beginning to come together and are yielding better work. I put the dovetailed box together the other day and it looks very good (for me that is) with only a couple of really bad gaps. Those gaps are because I cut on the wrong side of the line on a pin board. Stupid mistake, but I learned from it. I'm looking forward to getting the box glued together and using my razor sharp plane to trim the joints flush. That will have to wait. I got sick of my workbench racking and squeaking so I disassembled it (I didn't build it) and decided to renovate it with mortise and tenon joinery. I plan on building a new bench in the near future, but reworking my old "squeaker" is turning out to be a good learning experience. But, that's a whole other story.

Oh yeah, I have a blog :/

2009-03-26T05:08:00.004-05:00

Let's take a look at my blogging activity, shall we? Yep, it was 8 December, 2008 when I posted the last blog. My computer's power supply failed and toasted the hard drive and I lost everything. Including the bookmark to this blog. I guess you might say that I simply forgot about it until now, which is true. I have a lot to write about if you can stand reading a long post. Let's start with the work-related stuff.

Winter at the shop was as expected. Lots and lots of "my truck (circle all that apply): gelled up, won't start, has no power, is stuck, won't build air" service calls. We had some long days in the early part of January and I think my longest day was sixteen hours of constant work. Mostly service calls. I had to climb on top of trailers at the scale, change more fuel filters than I can count, bypass air dryers and other similar crap. I was colder than I have ever been during one of those long days. The coldest day we had showed some of the inefficiency of our shop. The shop's owner doesn't like to give up on a truck with gelled fuel. One of my coworkers spent seven hours on one service call! I'm not sure if I've talked about this before, but I'll describe the fix for a truck with gelling fuel. First of all, diesel fuel has paraffin in it. That's right, the wax. When temperatures get low enough, that paraffin starts to solidify and, of course, solid fuel doesn't flow very well. The first thing that happens is the fuel filter/s clog and the engine loses power. Smart drivers get off the road as soon as possible and try to keep the engine running because even if the engine isn't producing enough power to pull the rig, as long as it's running, it's creating heat. The lucky guys have fuel heaters in the tanks, which is nothing more than a loop of pipe inside the tank which is connected to the cooling system. They work very well, but not all trucks have them. Regardless of whether or not the truck has fuel heaters in the tanks, the fuel is always circulating in a loop. There's more fuel going to the engine than the engine actually needs and whatever doesn't get used returns to the fuel tanks. Now, having been circulated through the engine, the fuel returning to the tanks is warmer than the fuel being drawn from the tanks. This warm fuel helps prevent gelling. So, if the driver can keep the engine running, he stands a greater chance of having fewer problems for a mechanic to solve. When diesel gets cold enough to start causing problems it will become cloudy. You can duplicate the look of cloudy fuel by pouring a beer into a glass (Budweiser, Miller etc. are good diesel fuel colored brews to use) and let it go flat. Once the bubbles are gone put a splash of milk into the glass and stir it up. That's what cloudy diesel fuel looks like. Beyond this cloudy state, the fuel will, quite literally, turn into a gel. Once it's in gel form, don't call a mechanic. Call for a tow truck. Anyway, back to my coworker's adventure. He showed up at the motor lodge where the customer was staying and found a truck that was shut off the night before and the block heater hadn't been plugged in. The driver had put an anti-gel additive in his fuel at the last fill up, and this prevented his fuel from gelling. The fuel, however, was very cloudy. My coworker started "the process" that all of us in the shop know so very well. Fire up the generator, air compressor and run to extension cords to the truck. Pull out the battery charger and hook it up to the truck. Take the extension cords, plug one into the block heater and the other to the battery charger, turn the charger on. Next, put one gallon of "911" fuel liquifier into each tank. Disconnect the fuel supply line from the first fuel filter and stick the blow gun into the line. Blow air into the line, which mixes the 911 and diesel fuel. Reconnect the fuel line, remove the fuel filter/s, fill the new filter/s with straight 911 and then install them. Remove the air filter and stand by with a can of ether (starting fluid. We call it "liquid choke"). If there's enough power in the batteries at this time, the driver cranks the engine and the mechanic sprays a good shot of ether into the intake system. If you're lucky, and the driver hasn't stopped cranking the engine, you'll get the engine to sputter a bit. If it does, a series of short, continuous shots of ether get sprayed into the intake until it starts. If/when the engine starts, the driver holds the accelerator to the floor until the engine starts running smoothly. A cold engine will smoke like a motherfucker until it warms up, but God help me, I love the smell of burned ether and 911. It smells like success! Occasionally we get a stubborn son of a bitch that requires more work to get it running. Sometimes we have to put on another set of fuel filters because the first set got clogged with paraffin. It's not uncommon to change filters again. My coworker did everything I have just described and got the engine running. Barely running. It wouldn't accelerate so he put more additive into the fuel tanks, mixed it up and put on another fuel filter. Then another filter, and another, and another. After six hours of fuckin' around, we towed it back to the shop. Sometimes the only way to get a truck going is to put it inside and warm the whole thing up. My coworker spent the seventh hour of this service call dropping the driveshaft for our tow truck operator. Can you spot the inefficiency yet? If you haven't, I'll point it out. The way all of us mechanics in our shop see it, if the situation goes beyond a second set of fuel filters, the truck needs to be towed to the shop. By the time the second set of filters get put on we're averaging about three to four hours on that service call. Wasting more time by continually changing fuel filters is no better than banging one's head against a wall. Not to mention it's a waste of the customer's money. The service call I just described lasted seven hours and STILL ended up with a tow. That's just stupid. At the busiest part of that day, every mechanic was out on the road and we had eighteen(!) additional service calls lined up. My coworker wanted this truck towed after the second set of filters, but the shop's owner told him to stay there and keep spinning filters on until it ran properly. Think of all the service calls that my coworker could have done if this truck had just been towed when it was suggested. Once this truck was in our shop, it had to sit inside overnight before it would start and run properly. Normally they only have to sit inside for about four hours. It's madness I tell ya! But that's winter for a diesel mechanic. That whole week was rough, but we made it through and made a whole bunch of money.

Since I've rambled on and on about gelling fuel, I'll save the other events of the past months for other posts. I have to hit the sack.

DPF Eliminator kits

2008-12-08T00:44:00.002-06:00

What the fuck are you noggins thinking? I just watched a video on YouTube about how to eliminate the DPF (Diesel Particulate Filter) on a Dodge truck using a small control module and "sensor emulators." Why are you people so fuckin' afraid of the DPF? Oh yeah, that's right. Getting a lot of codes dealing with regeneration of the DPF. Frankly, I think that most of the people who own pick up trucks equipped with diesel engines, don't need a diesel engine. They drive the things like they're cars and that isn't right. A diesel engine is designed and intended to be used for severe duty. Not taking the kids to soccer and pulling your damned fishing boat or camper a few weekends out of every year. If you're using that diesel for a daily driver to work and don't have a trailer of some sort hooked to the truck all the time, you're going to have problems with it. If you're having recurring problems with regeneration sourced codes, you're not using the truck properly. Trade it in for a truck with a gas engine. You'll be much happier. I've mentioned it before in previous posts, but I'm going to say it again. Your diesel pick up truck, despite the badges on it, is NOT a heavy duty truck. Quit putting stacks on the damned things, it looks stupid. Every time I see a pick up with stacks you know what I think? It's certainly not "Oh wow, that looks cool!" I think "What a dumb-ass. Just another wanna-be truck driver." You should hear these douche bags when they bring their "heavy duty" Dodge/Ford/Chevy truck into our shop. Boy do they howl when they find out how expensive diesels can be. The average Joe will never reap the benefits of a diesel engine. They don't work them enough or drive them enough. So stop tinkering with the diesel engines you probably don't need anyway.

A day without Windows

2008-12-02T05:20:00.002-06:00

I've had a laptop around since 2000 or so. The latest one I have is an old Dell C600 Latitude that a friend of mine picked up for me. I never used my laptops as my main computer; they were back ups in case I had trouble with my main PC. The laptops have always had the same operating system as my desktops. Which means they all had Windows. This Dell of mine started to suffer from a bad hard drive about a year after I aquired it. One day it finally just wouldn't work any more so I packed it away and forgot about it. I eventually decided to put a new hard drive in it and start using the laptop again. This time around, however, I decided to not install a Windows operating system. I'd toyed with the idea of using alternative operating systems for years, but could never take the plunge and install it on my desktops. I'd downloaded and burned "evaluation" CDs before to get a taste of some Linux operating systems and found them impressive. The main factor for not installing a Linux OS was that it seemed to be too much trouble to try and get my flight sims (which are made for Windows operating systems) to work. The laptop is a different story. Having a freshly installed hard drive, I decided that Linux would be the operating system on my laptop. Having done some research on the different flavors of Linux out there, I chose Ubuntu. I used my desktop PC to burn the installation CD and proceeded to install it. Before Ubuntu was even installed, I knew I was going to like it. Installation was flawless. Not one problem. I love open source software :) Learning to use Ubuntu was also very easy. There are some peculiarities to it, but if a person understands how to use a Windows OS, Ubuntu will be easy to learn. The software that comes with Ubuntu is amazing as well. A full suite of office software, audio/video software, games, tools... I love it. My desktop PC has a power supply that decided to retire on me tonight. What did I do? Pulled out the laptop. I haven't had it on for a month, but as soon as it booted, I was notified of 87 available updates. Believe me, when a problem is found, it gets fixed and updates are made available. No hassles at all. Try to get that from Microsoft. I had an interesting time trying to watch vids on YouTube tonight, though. The last time I tried getting the necessary Flash player for Linux, it didn't seem to work for me. This time it went just fine and that makes me happy :) I'm glad things work so well with this operating system. Until my new power supply arrives, I'm going to be using this laptop with its slick OS. If you have an extra computer laying around, I suggest giving a Linux OS a try on it. You might be pleasantly surprised with it. More people need to be aware that they don't have to be stuck with Windows. There is an alternative. The best part of it is that Linux is free. All it will cost you, at most, is a blank CD. Let's have more days without Windows.

I just realized that I'm an OS activist. I'm such a dork....

A "hit and run" post

2008-11-04T20:03:00.002-06:00

I don't have much time before I have to head back to work from my lunch break, so this is going to be short and sweet.

I've voted in the Presidential elections regularly since I was eligible to vote at 18 years old. I never thought much about it and did it because I believe it's the civic duty of every citizen in America. I'd research the candidates a little and make my decision, but never was gung-ho about the whole process. This year is different. I think that as people age, politics become more important. This year I'm really excited to see how the election will turn out. I'm not going to say who I voted for, but I will say that there's things I like about each candidate and I'm chomping at the bit to see who our next President will be. I'm also a bit disappointed with some people I know who didn't vote because they think that their vote doesn't matter. Even though I think it would be extremely unlikely that a Presidential election would come down to one vote, it's still important for every eligible person to vote. Your vote DOES matter. If you still have time, go out and vote! Gotta get back to work now.

High tech irony

2008-10-30T03:46:00.002-05:00

I was just watching a video on YouTube of a CNC five axis wood router and I had a good laugh. This incredible machine will take a raw blank (a table top for instance), machine any holes, apply edge banding to expose plywood edges and the trim the edge banding. It's mind blowing to see something like that, but there's some irony involved. The second video in the series started with a table top. The machine slides into place, some whirring noises are heard and then POOF! A huge cloud of saw dust shoots out and covers the floor. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. A machine that works with such precision and costs so much money... doesn't have a dust collection system on it. LOL!

Pet Peeves II

2008-10-27T23:47:00.002-05:00

I was just watching a show on the History Channel about mind control and one of the people being interviewed said "...through one way mirrors." Wouldn't that just be a plain old mirror? There's a few guys at work that frequently say similarly stupid things such as "unthaw" and "one way check valve." The first thing is mentioned during discussion about the air systems on a big truck. Drivers hardly ever drain the air tanks like they're supposed to, and that leads to the water in the air system freezing in the winter. One particular coworker will mention bringing a frozen truck into the shop to "unthaw" it. I kept my mouth shut for a long time, but when he uttered that ridiculous phrase one winter day I said "Well, that was an easy job. You're already done." He's not the brightest person in the world so it didn't sink in right away. I said "I think the word you're wanting to use is 'thaw', not 'unthaw'". "No, I need to unthaw the truck" he responded. So I asked "Why would you want to bother freezing a truck that is already frozen?" He still didn't get it so I gave up and he continues to sound like a moron.

This same genius, also in reference to air systems, uses "one way check valve" all the time. In a big truck the air tanks, for example, have check valves to prevent air from going the wrong way through the system. "One way check valve" is redundant, don't you think? I asked him one time "If a one way check valve only lets air travel in one direction, what would a two way check valve be?" I could see the gears slowly turning in his head and I answered for him, "A plain 'ol piece of pipe." As with the "unthaw" argument, this dope still didn't get it.

At my last job, the "bitch sheets" that drivers filled out every day made for some good laughs. They would write down such things as "left rear brake light doesn't work." Oh, as opposed to the left front brake light? I don't recall ever seeing brake lights on the front of a vehicle, so "left brake light" would have been more than enough information. Another similar bitch sheet proclaimed "Interior dome lamp burned out." Whew! That's good, because those exterior dome lights can be a bitch to replace. I'll go through the bitch sheets later. I saved a few of the good ones.

The happy times are over

2008-10-06T05:56:00.003-05:00

It happens every year. Summer turns to autumn, daylight doesn't last as long, temperatures get cooler and the crops are harvested. Today was the day I took the air conditioners out of the windows and stored them, not to be seen again until next spring. In the world of a diesel mechanic, this time of year stirs up a mix of emotions. We no longer have to worry about staying cool and working on a warm diesel engine isn't as uncomfortable as it was in August. On the other hand we know winter is coming. In a couple of months we'll find ourselves yelling at the other guys in the shop to "Close that damn door! You think it's fucking springtime out there?!" We'll also soon find ourselves working outside in frigid temperatures trying to get those damned diesel engines started. With all the technology in the world today, nobody can design a diesel that works well in winter on its own. Some idiots won't plug the truck's engine heater in or they won't put an anti-gelling additive in their fuel. Others will leave the truck's lights on without the engine running not realizing that a battery's power decreases as temperature decreases. But, that's how things go and we manage to deal with it year after year. Winter doesn't always mean bad things for a diesel mechanic, it has good points too. To us, winter means money. It's not snow that falls from the sky, it's white gold. That reminds me, after talking with the other guys in the shop I've come to the conclusion that we all think the same way about winter. Between snow and sub zero temperatures, we hate the sub zero temperatures the most. Here's a situation for you to ponder that will help make my point.

Imagine it's a Sunday evening and as you crawl into your nice, warm bed you can hear the wind howling outside. The last check of the weather channel told you that it was -20F outside and with the wind chill added in it feels like -35F. You drift off to sleep under a pile of blankets. You wake up to a ringing phone at 01:00 and have to go out on a service call. With regret, you throw off the blankets and get out of bed. You shiver as your feet touch the cold floor and get dressed. As you open up the door and head out to your car, the sub zero temperature reaches out and smacks you in the face. You get on your way to the shop in a cold car and your teeth start chattering because it takes a long time for the engine to warm up. Just as your car finally starts putting out some heat, you're only a few blocks from the shop. At least the service truck is inside the shop and will warm up quickly. You get into the shop and prepare to go out on that service call. Aside from your jacket, you leave your street clothes on. You pull on the insulated bib overalls, a hooded sweatshirt over the bibs, pack boots, an arctic work coat and top it off with a stupid looking fur lined winter hat. Complete ear flaps. After you grab your clip board and gloves, you're off into the cold, cold night. As you drive down the road toward the truck stop, snow blows across the road making it difficult to see where you're going. You keep the truck's heater turned down because you know it will make the transition to working outside less of a shock. Finally, you reach the casualty and reluctantly get out of the cozy service truck. The irony of this situation makes you smile because the problem isn't related to cold weather at all. Somewhere under the cab you can hear an air leak. This requires you to not only get underneath the truck, but squeeze between the top of the transmission and the floor of the cab. Not an easy thing to do with all that winter gear you're wearing. You find a broken air line fitting quickly and get to work fixing it. Being a small fitting, it's impossible to handle with gloves on your hands, so you take the gloves off and hurry to do what needs to be done. Within minutes you can no longer feel your hands and your knees ache from being on a solid sheet of ice. After the cracked fitting has been removed you start to crawl out from underneath the truck but can't. Your heavy jacket is caught on something and you have to mess around trying to free it. Not an easy thing to do when you can't feel your hands. You free yourself and crawl out from under the truck then hurry over to the service truck and climb inside, thankful to be in from the cold. The frozen gloves get put onto the defroster vent and the fan gets put onto "high". When the feeling comes back to your hands, you do some paperwork while warming up. Back out into the cold night to install a new part. It's the same process as before. Numb hands, getting stuck and an aching body. Once the job is complete, you get back in the service truck and fill out the bill. Hoping that this driver doesn't give you any trouble over paying the bill. This driver is an understanding person and pays without problem. You thank the driver for the business and wish him a safe trip, then your cell phone rings. Another service call. With the temperatures as low as they are, it looks like you won't be getting back to that warm bed for quite a while. You work throughout the night and finally return to the shop around 07:30. By now you have been chilled to the bone and are still shivering despite being in a warm shop. The day shift has already arrived and they know you've been out all night. Your regular shift starts at 15:00 which would give you a decent amount of sleep, but you won't get out of the shop until 08:00 at the earliest. The boss comes by and notices your drooping eyes and the shivering fits you're still having. He asks a question something like "Have a rough night?" You give a faint smile and reply "Yeah, you might say that." Being the sympathetic person he is, he says you can come at 17:00 if you want some more sleep. You take him up on his offer and head home after restocking the service truck. Even though the sun is up, you'll have no problem falling asleep. The warm bed you left seven hours ago is cold, but that doesn't stop you from crawling in. It will be cozy in no time, but you don't even notice because as soon as your head hits the pillow, you drift off to sleep. Shivering.

That was a bit longer than I had planned, but it's what diesel mechanics, towing professionals and other similar professions go through. Yep, I'm not looking forward to winter, but it won't last too long. At least I'll make some good money from all the overtime I'll get.

Hide and seek with the brown shirts, pets and woodworking

2008-09-18T01:08:00.002-05:00

I have an addiction that I cannot control. Luckily, the things I have to purchase to feed this addiction are cheap and easy to find. Books. I cannot stop reading and order books on a regular basis from Amazon.com since I can find just about anything I want on that website. I'll order three to four books at a time and it'll only cost me $25 to $30 dollars when I buy used books, which is almost every time. Shipping costs cause my totals to increase of course and I'll usually pick the "standard" shipping option to save a few bucks. This time, however, I selected second day air for two of the three books because I wanted to get them quickly. Like most people, I follow the package's progress via the UPS tracking web page. As long as I've been getting my books online, not once have I had a problem with the shipper. That changed today. The brown shirts usually drop by before I go to work in the afternoon so I'll be able to put whatever it is I receive in the house before work. Being small, books are usually left between the doors to keep them out of the weather. The brown shirts have even left things in my recycling bin to keep them off the ground. But today the package was still "out for delivery" as I left for work. I came home around 19:30 for lunch and rechecked the status. The status for the two packages was "delivered" around 17:30. Checked the mailbox, not there. Checked between the front doors, not there. Checked my back porch, not there. Checked between the back doors, not there. I started getting a little angry, but continued looking. The garage, behind the bushes in the front yard, all sides of the house, patio door... Either the brown shirt hid the books so well that I can't find them, or somebody stole them. There's a possibility that the driver changed his mind about leaving the package unattended and will try again tomorrow so we'll see. I just want my books, I didn't think I'd have to play hide and seek with UPS to get them. *grumbles*

The latest woodworking project that I've completed has been interesting and a little sad. I built an urn for a dog's ashes. Well, technically it's a box to store an urn that contains a dog's ashes. The Golden Retriever of a close friend died recently and she asked me if I would build a box to put Scout's ashes in. Of course I said "yes." I used to date this friend of mine a long time ago, so I knew Scout for long time and he was as good a dog and companion as a person could hope for. I'm honored that I could build the final resting place for her best friend. I miss you Scooter.

Bad day for truckers

2008-09-12T04:50:00.002-05:00

Today just wasn't a good day for truckers. Our shop has been pretty slow lately but today the shit hit the fan. Trucks were breaking down left and right and we were hoppin' all day. I had a service call out on the side of the interstate for an unlucky fella. This guy was driving a car hauling rig and the wheels on the right side ,rear drive axle of his truck detached themselves. He was lucky that the detached wheels didn't hurt anyone. He found one wheel and when I got there, we went looking for the other one and couldn't find it. I'm guessing it's somewhere in the corn field which is next to the highway. Normally I hate car haulers because the damn things are so low to the ground, but it turned out to be a good thing this time. The fifth wheel (the big plate that connects the trailer to the tractor) on a car hauler is mounted to the very back of the tractor and is only inches from the road. When the tractor's wheels came off, the tractor was resting on the fifth wheel. This saved the hub, brake drum and brake shoes from severe damage. If this had happened to a normal tractor the hub, bearings, brake drum and brakes shoes would have to be replaced since they would get ground up by dragging on the pavement. The driver had a local tire shop come out with two new wheels and tires so all I had to do was replace the wheel studs and wheel nuts. It was a tough job, but it could've been a lot worse. I got it done pretty quick too. The total time from leaving the shop until my return to the shop was four hours and thirty minutes. That includes a parts run.

When I returned to the shop there was a white Freightliner in one of the service bays. I asked the service writer what it was in for and he said the turbo had failed and the air to air cooler ( a.k.a "intercooler") had a crack in it. The truck's owner/operator purchased the truck four days prior to it coming to our shop. The poor guy is almost broke from the truck purchase (it's an used truck btw) and then the turbo fails. The crankcase was overfilled by about two gallons, so I'm thinking that whoever sold this truck knew the turbo was failing. He couldn't get money to pay his bill tonight, so we'll see what happens in the morning. It's a "catch 22" for truckers. They need their trucks to make money, but if they break down and money's tight, they still have to get their trucks fixed or they can't make money.

To top the day off, the trucking company just down the road from our shop had a breakdown in their own parking lot. The truck was idling fine one minute and then *splash*, the coolant resevoir cracks open and the majority of the coolant spills out. It was an easy fix, but it required a two hour drive to aquire the necessary part. It's been a busy day and I'm dog tired, but it's not over yet. I've been the guy on call for the past week and I've been fairly busy. Right now it's 05:16 in the morning and my turn "on the hook" ends in one hour and forty five minutes. That's when the morning shift arrives at the shop and transfers the phones back to the shop. I would normally have gone to bed an hour ago, but when I'm on call there's not much point in going to bed until 06:30 at the earliest. If the phone rings I'll just have to get out of bed anyway. Might as well stay awake until I know I won't be interrupted. *yawn* I might crawl into bed after I post this. Even a short nap would be good right about now.

Under the (musical) influence

2008-08-25T00:11:00.005-05:00

The people who know me know that I've been a KISS fan for a long, long time. Some of my earliest memories are of seeing the cover from KISS's first album. I remember my brother, Chris, showing me that album cover and telling me who was who in the band and what instrument they played. That was probably late 1975 or early 1976. What allows me to pinpoint that point in time is remembering seeing the ALIVE album around the house. I remember hearing ALIVE being played on the small record players my siblings had and was totally mesmerized by KISS. I literally grew up with KISS. Like so many boys from the 1970s, I had a favorite band member (Peter Criss) and wanted to be just like him. My best friend at the time, Kevin, and I would pretend to be KISS. Tennis racket guitars and all. In those days, kids like me had no idea of the sex, drugs and band disputes. To the kids of the 1970s KISS was, and still is, the definition of rock-n-roll. I can't remember who said this, but it went like this "If I met someone who had no idea what rock-n-roll was, I'd hand them the ALIVE album and tell them 'This is rock-n-roll'." Let's hop in the time machine...

In the early 1980s, I decided I was going to be like my hero and be a drummer. After years of lessons and practice I got my first drum kit and started to practice daily. I'd put on a mix tape of my favorite KISS songs and play for hours on end day after day. In the late 1980s I was in high school and in band. Now, I'm the youngest of my siblings. The next youngest being Chris, who's eight years older than me. By the time I got to high school the whole phenomenon of "KISS-mania" had passed into the rock-n-roll history books. Consequently, when I played in pep band and jazz band, my musical influence came out. Simply put, I sounded like Peter Criss. In the debates of what drummer is "the best" nobody can ever agree. I think it's crazy to think that just one drummer can be proclaimed as "the best." Peter Criss always gets cut down because he's not as complicated as other drummers. It doesn't matter to me, Peter Criss played with a lot of feeling. He also played some pretty crazy stuff. Trust me on that one. When I was learning to play there were some unspoken "rules" to follow and you weren't supposed to deviate from them. Listening to Peter Criss changed that for me and I started to color outside of the lines. One of the other drummers in band was one of the drummers who could play anything. I was impressed with his ability and asked him for help often. But, he was a bit of a snob. Anyway, the kids I went to school with got used to hearing his drum solos and always went nuts when he showed off. Rightly so, he was an outstanding player. He took care of the soloing to get people riled up during basketball games, pep rallies and the like. However, there were rare occasions where he wasn't around and the second string drummer had to fill in. Can you guess who that was? Yep, me. I loved playing in band, but I suffer from stage fright. I was one of those kids who just blended into the crowd and never drew attention to myself. So, suddenly having the band director pointing at me and telling me to whip out two minutes of drum solo terrified me. I was (and still am) horrible at improvising solos, so I did what any musician would do. I drew on my influences. I would whip out riffs that were either direct rips from Peter Criss or, at the very least, in the style of Peter Criss. Since I wasn't playing as fast or as complicated as the snob, I didn't get the same reaction he did. I didn't care. My classmates had forgotten KISS and, for the most part, didn't recognize anything I played. But, I played what I knew how to play and loved every stage-fright-filled minute of it. My senior year, one of the first things I did was to get transferred out of a study hall into the band room helping the director with the freshmen band. A few older band members did this. It was a nice escape from a boring study hall and I got to spend an hour in the band room. For most of the year, I sat either in the band director's office or a practice room talking with a girl whose name was April. She had some problems, but was still a good person. In the last days of my Senior year April thanked me for being non-judgmental and for just simply listening. She still had two more years to go and she said she was going to miss me "... and those crazy drum solos." I still get a good laugh out of that. OK, back into the time machine.

In the mid 1990s KISS had done a session for MTV's "Unplugged" series and the band invited Ace Frehley and Peter Criss to join them for a few songs. My girlfriend at the time was kind enough to tape it for me and even teased me by calling me at work to tell me how good the show was. I couldn't get to her house fast enough. I watched that tape over and over, smiling from ear to ear the whole time. Later on, I was at a friend's farm, working on a car in their garage, when I heard an announcement on the radio. The DJ said that the original members of KISS were reuniting and were going to do a tour. Make up, platform boots, levitating drum risers, pyrotechnics and all. It was one of the few times in my life that I actually yelled out without thinking. Chris and I went to see them in Chicago and it was a dream come true. I was in that arena screaming, shouting and pumping my fists in the air. Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would be able to hear Peter Criss play a solo. In person. I lost my voice from shouting so much. I had been thinking of getting a tattoo for years and could never make up my mind of what to get. I knew it had to be something that was meaningful to me and it had to be something I wouldn't regret forty years down the road. Then, while at that concert in 1996, I made up (pun intended) my mind. It was going to be Peter Criss. Being at a KISS concert, obviously, allowed me to see tons of KISS related tattoos and I realized something. No matter how good the artist, a tattoo of a persons face never looks "right." So I decided it was just going to be Peter Criss's makeup that was going onto my arm. I drew up what I wanted because I wasn't going to "hope the artist gets it right." The reason I got into music, the reason I listen to what I like and not just what's fed to me via Top 40 radio, is Peter Criss. I've had strange looks from people, but I don't care. The black ink on my arm isn't just for show, it's important to me and I'm proud to show it.

Now, in 2008, I'm still influenced by KISS. The reunion tour was awesome and I saw them another three times with my brother. Peter Criss and Ace Frehley were out of the band again and the whole thing became very clownish. Still, I'm proud of the tattoo on my arm and what it represents. I haven't sat down at a drum kit in years and probably wouldn't sound good if I did, but that KISS influence is still there. I have what I call a "mental jukebox" and when things happen to me, certain songs start playing in my head. When I'm with a certain female I know, what plays on the "mental jukebox" is predominantly KISS. I see her and all of a sudden I hear those drum riffs start playing. I'm still under the (musical) influence...

Move over or slow down!

2008-08-17T06:06:00.003-05:00

Part of my job as a truck mechanic involves going out on service calls. If you're not familiar with the trucking industry, the idea of a mechanic coming to you to fix your car might seem odd. The difference is in towing. If you thought having your car towed is expensive, be glad you don't operate a big truck. Having a tractor and trailer towed can easily run over $600. The cost of a tow is bad enough, but then you have to add on repair costs once the rig is at a shop. Most of the time, the most logical choice is to have a mechanic (someone like me) go to the truck and repair it on-site. It can save money and, this is important in trucking, time. Most of the service calls I do are to parking lots of some sort. Truck stops, warehouses, rest areas and the like. But occasionally a driver simply can't make it to a safe haven and has to pull over onto the roadside. For all involved, the roadside is not a good place to be. Most states have "Move Over" laws which require drivers to move to a lane further away from emergency vehicles. Therein lies the problem. Drivers will move over for police cars, fire trucks and ambulances frequently, but won't do it for people like me. I want to make it crystal clear to everyone reading this that service trucks, tow trucks and tire trucks fit into the "emergency vehicle" category. Simply put, if you see flashing lights of any kind on the side of the road, you need to move over. Sometimes it's not possible to change lanes due to traffic and I understand that, but if you can't change lanes please slow down. I don't mean slowing from 75 mph to 70 mph, I mean slow down to somewhere in the 40-45 mph range. Sometimes I have to be on the traffic side of a truck and having someone whip by at 70 mph just a few feet away scares the hell out of me. The thing that really gets my blood boiling is seeing a vehicle coming towards me that can easily change lanes, but doesn't. I guess sometimes that phone call or text message is more important than the safety of a person on the roadside. I'm guessing that the people who can't be bothered to change lanes or slow down have never been on the side of an interstate highway. I had a close call a few months ago that scared me to my core. I had to be on the traffic side of a truck and was very close to the white line. I'd check for traffic and do my work when no vehicles were coming. I always keep one eye looking up the road so I don't get surprised. So, I see a truck coming and duck into the space between the truck I was working on and the trailer it was pulling. Well, not only did the oncoming truck not move over, it didn't even slow down. It was also dangerously close to the white line. When that truck roared by there couldn't have been more than a few inches between its right mirror and the left mirror of the truck I was working on. I'd say it was about two feet from me. My hat was blown off my head, road dirt got blown at me and I was sure that I'd pissed my pants (I didn't). In the split second that I could see into the cab of the passing truck, I noticed the guy was yakking away on his cell phone. There were no other vehicles near so he could have safely changed lanes, but he didn't. It was a Schneider rig by the way. I take mental notes of the assholes who don't pull over if they can. Anyway, I stayed composed long enough to finish the job and get back to the shop. Then I started shaking. I thought about how easily I could've been killed and it chilled my blood. I called a friend because I needed to calm down and I knew that hearing her voice would do the trick. Since I'm at the end of this little story, I have a request to make of you. I'm simply asking for you to keep an eye out for emergency vehicles on the side of the road and, if you can do so safely, move to a lane further away from the emergency vehicle. If you can't safely change lanes, please slow down. I'd also like you to remind the people you know to move over or slow down. I can't change things on my own, but we can make a difference if we all pitch in. So please, move over or slow down.

Pet peeves

2008-08-02T01:08:00.004-05:00

Let's start with a question. What is in the air conditioning system of your car? If you answered "Freon", please leave. Let's get this straightened out right now. Freon is DuPont's brand name for their R-12 refrigerant. Anytime I'm doing air conditioning work on a truck someone will inevitably ask me "How much freon did you put in?" or "Is there any freon in there?" My answer is always "none" and "no." It annoys me to no end when people generically refer to any refrigerant as "freon." When those people are mechanics, I instantly question their abilities. Unless you have a vehicle from 1993 or older which has been pampered it's whole life, your vehicle does not, and will not, have "freon" in it. Starting with the 1994 model year vehicles, R-134a has been the standard refrigerant for vehicle air conditioning. In fact, R-12 is not produced anymore. If a 1993 or older vehicle needs air conditioning work, it will probably have been converted to an R-134a system. Don't hold your breath though. R-134a won't be around much longer. Recently, an old classmate of mine from the tech school days showed up at the shop. He's a truck driver now and brought his truck (a very nice Freightliner Classic BTW) to our shop to have the air conditioner serviced. He called later in the evening to find out how his truck was doing and asked to talk to me, since I was the one who worked on it. Long story short, he used the word "freon" and I was a little disappointed. He and I went through the same classes on mobile air conditioning and he had been working at a Ford dealership until he started trucking. Hearing him say "freon" caused me to lose faith in his abilities. If he refers to the engine in his truck as a "motor", all hope is lost.

What's with the poor spelling these days? I'm not wondering about rarely used words, but the more common words. I'm a product of the public school system and never did well in grammar, punctuation and sentence structure, but I can spell common words correctly. Don't think I'm standing on the soap box preaching about the poor state of the English language. I'm guilty as well. I ask people to correct me whenever I fuck up so I can become a better writer. I actually wish I'd paid more attention in school. Maybe it's time to go back to school.

The Mysterious "Black Box"

2008-08-01T02:50:00.005-05:00

In my line of work as a diesel mechanic, I talk to many truck drivers and I am asked many questions. Almost every conversation winds up being about engines. "Motors" is the word most commonly used, but "engine" is the correct word. Motors are electric. Anyway, I've noticed a trend among truck drivers through my many conversations with them. They're afraid of technology when it comes to engines. I should explain big rigs to those of you unfamiliar with them. They are, by far, old technology when compared to cars and it's been said that big trucks are about twenty years behind cars. I believe it. One example would be the brakes on a big truck. They're predominantly drum brakes. DRUM BRAKES! When was the last time you saw a car that had drum brakes on all four wheels? The late 1960's? Air operated disc brakes do exist, but I've only seen them twice. Once on a motor home and the other time it was a tour bus. What I'm leading to in this post is the technology found on diesel engines. In the mid to late 1990's electronic engine controls were starting to appear regularly on heavy duty diesel engines in an effort to reduce the bad stuff coming out of the exhaust pipe. It was nothing special, but the electronic control module, or ECM (sometimes called a powertrain control module or PCM, it depends on the manufacturer) was almost unanimously not trusted by truck owners and drivers. "Why" you might ask? Because they didn't understand how it worked. Prior to the use of ECMs on diesel engines, the fuel metering was done by a mechanically operated injection pump. Injection pumps are big pieces of metal, make whirring noises and have fuel lines coming out of them. If you've ever heard of someone "turning up" a diesel, they're referring to a mechanical fuel injection pump. What a "mechanical diesel" has over an electronic diesel is reliability and simple operation. Technology-wise, a diesel engine with a mechanical injection pump is on the same level as a gasoline engine with a carburetor on it. A person could understand how mechanical injection worked and could tinker with it themselves a little bit. Fuel is delivered to the pump, the pump distributes the fuel to the right cylinders at the right times and smoke comes out the stack. That's where mechanical diesels are bad. Smoke. For reasons I can't understand, some people will equate smoke with power. They think it's cool to have smoke pouring out of the stacks (usually without mufflers). I see wasted energy and money coming out of the stacks, because that smoke is unburned fuel. I've talked with drivers, who in just a few minutes of conversation, bitched about high fuel prices and then praised mechanical diesels. Umm, I don't get it. I've even heard of people wanting to swap out an electronic diesel for a mechanical diesel. First of all, that's probably the most stupid thing I've ever heard and secondly, if they complain about poor fuel economy now, just wait until that mechanical engine goes into the truck. Moving on. In the early 2000s, heavy duty diesels were equipped with EGR (Exhaust Gas Recirculation) systems to comply with emission regulations. Simply put, EGR systems put some exhaust gas back into the cylinders and is mixed with fresh air/fuel mixture. Exhaust gas will have unburned fuel in it and by putting it back into the engine, that unburned fuel gets burned and isn't wasted. Well, the EGR systems were put on in a hurried fashion to existing engine designs and it caused all sorts of problems. The engine manufacturers were the first to be blamed, then the EGR systems were declared "crap" by the drivers/owners and eventually they figured out the EPA was to blame. The EPA wasn't really at fault, their goal was good, but I think they gave an unrealistic deadline that was too short. After the first couple of years with EGR systems, the manufacturers got the problems straightened out, but the drivers/owners still didn't trust the system even though the car or pickup they drive has an EGR system on it that works just fine. In fact, cars have had EGR systems on them since the early 1970s! The latest thing to spook drivers/owners is the 2007 diesel engines and ULSD (Ultra Low Sulfur Diesel) fuel. First came the ULSD, which was to replace Low Sulfur Diesel at pumps by the fall of 2006. ULSD is not as good a solvent as low sulfur diesel and when it appeared at the fuel pumps, fuel filters started clogging with alarming regularity. Low sulfur diesel will break down a lot of impurities that find their way into fuel tanks. Think of how salt dissolves in water, now imagine if those salt crystals didn't dissolve. That's the problem with ULSD, particulates don't dissolve. Guess where all that non-liquified crud ends up? That's right, into the fuel filter where it belongs. There was a huge problem in the fall and winter of 2006/2007. Our shop was changing fuel filters for customers so much that we went from keeping one each of the most common filters on our service trucks to keeping CASES of the common filters on our trucks. There was a point where we had trouble finding fuel filters because demand was so high. Again, the drivers didn't understand why their filters clogged, they just knew it was because of the switch to ULSD. The filter problem was a non-issue by the spring of 2007, but the effect will last for years. But the fun doesn't end there. Beginning 1 January, 2007, all new production diesel engines were required to meet another new set of emission standards. The engine manufacturers knew of the new standards well in advance this time and were ready for it. So now we have electronic engine controls, EGR systems and *gasp* Diesel Particulate Filters (DPFs). It's an exhaust filter. Particulate matter (i.e. soot) gets trapped in the DPF and every so often the DPF does something referred to as "regeneration." In a nutshell, what happens during regeneration is this. A small amount of raw fuel is injected into the DPF causing the thing to heat up to the point where the trapped particulate matter is burned off. The only thing left is a small amount of ash. The stuff coming out of the stacks is super clean, probably cleaner than a car's exhaust. But, there is a price to pay. DPFs will have to be cleaned on occasion to remove the ash trapped inside. The truck manufacturers have suffered for their brilliance. Since nobody trusts this "black magic", sales of trucks with 2007 engines plummeted. What I hear on my end is this frequent phrase from drivers "... that emissions shit." They don't understand it, therefore it's shit. Even though it's a good thing. Lower exhaust emissions, what's not to love? I'd like to see each person who complains about the "emissions shit" spend a day in a shop with running mechanical diesels. Just starting a mechanical diesel in a shop will instantly fill the place with eye burning smoke. It is not pleasant at all, even with a good ventilation system. If you fear something because you don't understand it, what's keeping you from learning about it? Use Google, read a book, read the trade magazines. Knowledge is power.

I'm guilty of neglect

2008-07-16T05:28:00.006-05:00

I'm guilty of neglecting this blog. Not that anyone actually reads this thing, but if there is, I apologize for not posting frequently. But that's just me. I'm not going to write for the sake of filling space at a regular interval, that's not a good way to do things. Anyway, on to what I wanted to write about today.

I get PMs and emails from younger people who start their messages out the same way. "I'm planning on going to school to be a diesel/heavy equipment technician..." The first thought that goes through my head is something like "Oh boy, here's another one who's been suckered into believing the tech school recruiting bullshit." It's true, I'm sorry to say. The big tech schools have all these flashy videos and shiny brochures, all shown by slick recruiters who troll the high schools for new students. Maybe these poor kids have watched "The fast and the furious" one too many times and have a glamorous view of what it's like being a mechanic. By the way, I always refer to myself as a "mechanic" and not a "technician" for a reason. When was the last time you asked someone if they knew of a good diesel technician? The public refers to me as mechanic, so that's what I am. It's no different than having the title of "custodian." To the world, they're janitors. I've had both jobs, so I speak with authority on the subject. Back to the young wanna-be mechanics. Every time I get an email from one of these kids, I'm tempted to block them so I don't have to read the same thing over and over again. But I don't. I was just like them in my younger days, so I take a deep breath and answer whatever questions they ask me and give them the truth. The recruiters make this job out to be a lot better than it actually is. They'll have the kids thinking that dealerships and top notch shops will be beating down their door, begging them to work at their shop. They'll think they're hot shit and will be making $80, 000/year right out of tech school. The brochures show the school's spotless shop, filled to the rafters with the latest equipment... and everyone has a clean shirt. The kids turn into adults, graduate and head off to their first job with small, albeit brand new, tool kit. Then, with very few exceptions, the real world reaches out and bitch-slaps them in the face. The freshly minted mechanics find themselves doing jobs that any idiot off the streets could be trained to do. Changing tires, oil changes, trailer services and the like. What the new guys don't realize at the time is that no shop in their right mind, would turn a new, still wet behind the ears, mechanic loose in a working shop without finding out for sure what they can do. Truck shops don't exist to showcase a mechanic's technical prowess. They exist to make money. It's a business just like any other business and the owners can't afford to take chances with mechanics who haven't proved themselves. There's an unfortunate "Catch 22" with this process. Usually, by the time the new guys have been found worthy of moving on, they've forgotten a large chunk of what they were taught in tech school because they haven't been able to use those skills. So you can probably understand why getting these emails are slightly depressing. I know what's in store for these kids if they choose to be a mechanic as their profession. I also know that if they enjoy working on cars and trucks in their spare time, working professionally as a mechanic will probably kill their enthusiasm. One of the things I learned at a young age was that turning a hobby into a profession is a bad idea. The last thing I want to do on my own time is work on cars, trucks or even my own lawn mowers. Still, the emails come.

"I have some questions for you regarding the Detroit 60 series, Cat C15 and the Cummins N14" began one email. I wouldn't even have to read the rest of the email because I know what's coming. They will want to know which engine I think is best. Who the hell cares? All engines have their own peculiarities and there's no one engine that's better than the others. These kids think the trucking world is full of Peterbilts, Kenworths and Western Stars, all of them chromed out so much that they look stupid. They think they'll spend their days in the shop working on engines all the time, but that ain't the case. Brakes, grease jobs, air hoses, tires etc. are the day to day tasks. The kids spend too much time watching "Trick My Truck." To be fair, there are a lot of nice looking Petes and KWs out there, but what the kids will run into if they get into this field is Freightliners, Sterlings and Volvos. Freightshakers, Shortlings and Swedes are the trucks of choice for large fleets. "Why?" you might be asking yourself. Because they're cheap. Plain and simple. Lots of plastic, poor access and what I refer to ask fake luxury. I can't leave out the other trucks a neophyte wrench holder will likely work on. Heavily abused (and old) Mack dump trucks/heavy equipment haulers, lots of diesel pickups whose cocky owners think a pickup with a diesel qualifies as "heavy duty", and garbage trucks. Oh how working on a garbage truck can be a wake up call. It should be mandatory for anyone wishing to be a diesel mechanic to spend a week servicing nothing but garbage trucks. Believe me, if I had known how much it sucks to work on garbage trucks, I never would've moved from being a car mechanic to being a truck mechanic. I'd rather bag groceries. But you can't expect an eighteen year old to accept reality. No matter what profession a person chooses or how exciting it is when they start out, it eventually becomes nothing more than a job. The kids just will just have to find that out on their own.

If, by chance, you're still wondering which engine I prefer, I'll tell you... some other time ;)

Career Blues pt. IV

2008-04-06T02:24:00.005-05:00

My six years as a mechanic with the courier company was fantastic. I worked with good people, The place was organized well, leadership was excellent. 'Ol Rob became a very good friend despite him being almost two decades older than me. We had similar personalities and a shared knack for using one liners. Rob had gone into the USAF the year I was born and then did a two year hitch in the USN, stationed aboard two aircraft carriers. He'd also worked at a local airport for about twelve years. Given my enthusiasm for anything aviation related, I was fascinated by the stories he had to tell. I also have a deep respect for veterans and there were a lot of them working with me at that place. We had a couple Korean war vets, a Vietnam vet that flew F4 Phantoms, another Vietnam vet that was a B-52 crewman and Rob, of course. Consequently the place had an unintentional military vibe to it. Every day when I'd get to work, I'd walk into the shop and Rob would snap to attention and we'd salute each other. I'd ask for permission to come aboard and he'd reply "Permission granted. How ya doin' Jasper?" I'd reply with "As you were, I'll be in the area all day." Even now, when I think about it, I smile. My future at that place started to become dark about three years in. The company had reorganized and began selling the routes to independent contractors (ICs are what we called 'em). That meant as routes were sold, the number of company vehicles began to get smaller. The shops at our other terminals were closed one by one until the only shop left was the one I worked in. Rob and I knew what was coming, but we didn't want to accept it. The brass in the corporate offices came up with the idea to open our shop to the public so anyone could come in off the street to have their vehicle worked on. In theory it was a great idea and many of my coworkers and the ICs took advantage of our services. In fact, many of the ICs had purchased our old fleet vehicles so they figured since we worked on them all the time, who better to have continue to work on them? We even had a few accounts come in. A parts store, an exterminator and a pool guy were bringing their business to us. But it wasn't enough business. After one year of an open shop, we reverted back to being a "company only" shop. The IC thing wasn't working as planned and it was taking longer than expected to sell off the routes. To me, that was a good thing. It meant there would still be work for Rob and I. There came a day when all of us in the shop were called into the CEO's office. We were told that two of the four would be let go and given a severance package. Each of us went with a different manager to learn our fates. I went with Tim, the Corporate fleet manager. I could tell that he didn't want to let any of us go, but he had to. Sitting in his office, I was close to passing out from an anxiety attack. I had just closed on my first house and couldn't afford to lose my job. I was granted a reprieve though. All my hard work and dedication to the company over the years payed off on that day. I learned that I would be one of the two people staying on. Rob was the other. Karl and Jim were the unlucky ones. It was a dark day. We were like family in that shop and now two of us were leaving. After Jim and Karl left, the shop was physically cut in half and the body shop became more warehouse space. Rob and I were both told that we would eventually be let go, but it wouldn't be for sometime. They didn't know exactly when. Rob and I knew when that would be. It eventually got to the point when there wasn't enough vehicles left in the fleet to keep us busy. We spent a lot of time looking for something, anything, to keep ourselves busy. The day came when Tim called me into his office. I knew what the meeting was about, he didn't have to tell me. I could see it in his face. I was told that I had one more month of employment and would then be let go. I was given a very nice severance package that could have covered my expenses for three months had I not found another job right away. Luckily, I didn't have to depend on that severance pay. As my time grew shorter and I became a "one digit midget" as Rob would say, I packed up my tools and took them home a little at a time so I wouldn't have to move a loaded tool box. My uniforms were turned in and all my paperwork was done. On my last day I didn't even have a uniform and Rob let me work out of his tool box. I made the rounds and said my goodbyes. I hadn't told anyone that I was leaving because I didn't want to deal with a bunch of questions. So, some people were shocked when I told them goodbye. I could have stayed on with the company as a driver, but that would've been a step backwards career-wise. I was back doing what I wanted to do and I wasn't about to let it slip away again. That last day after I punched out for the last time, I walked back to the shop and saluted Rob. "Permission to go ashore, sir" I asked. "Permission denied!" he said. It was over. I'm man enough to admit that I got a little teary eyed as I drove out of the parking lot for the last time. I had a new job lined up and I was once again heading into the unknown. Would I succeed as a diesel mechanic?

Thank God it's over!

2008-03-15T21:00:00.002-05:00

Thank God, the worst of the winter is over. Winter is a very busy time for a heavy duty truck shop. Heavy duty diesels do not like winter weather at all. The trucks need to have the engine heaters plugged in, the fuel needs to have anti-gelling additives put into it, plastic airlines become brittle and break easily, the list goes on. The last time I was on call, the weather was very cold and I was extremely busy doing after hours service calls. Sunday nights and Monday mornings are the worst. Morons will forget to plug their trucks in or sometimes they'll shut them off and leave them for a day thinking it will start when they come back. At one of our accounts, the drivers will be written up if they don't plug their truck in at the end of the day. If we have to go and get a truck started, we have to note whether or not the heater was plugged in. The last Sunday I was on call, I had to go out around noon on the first service call of the day. I was out until around 20:00. The next call came in a few hours later and it was non-stop the rest the night and into Monday. I didn't come off the road until 06:30 Monday morning when the first people of the morning shift started coming in. All I was doing was starting trucks and getting frozen trailer brakes to release. All night. I made a lot of money on overtime, but the trade off was not being able to sleep. Before I was at this job, I had no clue as to the true meaning of "exhaustion" and "cold." It made for a long week. The temperatures stayed around 0 degrees until just a couple weeks ago. I'm so glad it's warmed up and the snow has been melting. Everyone in the shop was hanging by a thread because we'd been so busy. Everyone put in lots of overtime. When we (the mechanics) are out running service calls, the two shop foremen and the shop's owner are out in the shop working on trucks. Since the owner and foremen are out in the shop, the three people in the office have to cover more jobs, too. Work that had been scheduled gets put on the back burner for a day or two, so when the road calls taper off we're still busy catching up with the scheduled jobs. But, it's over until next winter. I'm sure we'll get snow again, but the temperatures won't be so damn cold. It won't be long and we'll have the shop doors open again. We're all white as ghosts from not getting any sun.

I agree with Jack White

2008-01-01T01:14:00.000-06:00

If you've read a few Jack White interviews, you'd know that he isn't a fan of digital recording, electronic music and modern recording techniques in general. I agree with him. I think recording digitally is a good thing, but I don't think that computers should be used to correct mistakes or to replace musicians. People are what makes a good recording a good recording. A musician's emotions can totally change the way a part gets played. Concerts are good place to see this in action. If the band or performer isn't feeling it, the audience can tell. Conversely, if the performer is into it the performance can be amazing. Also, if you have two musicians play identical parts, those two parts will be different. The human element is infinitely variable and no matter how hard programmers try, they can never really duplicate that.

I'm not saying electronic music is shit, it certainly has it's place, but to my ears, it lacks emotion. I find songs that are the the same, performance after performance, to be very boring. Of course, not all music, digitally enhanced or not, is good. The country music of the last eight or so years, for example, has been pretty bad. The songs have been fairly good, but production has sucked really bad. A lot of it has sounded like the music was being played on a boom box in the background and the singer was singing in front of it. The stereo spectrum sounded like it had been reduced to front and back, with nothing on the sides. Once I realized this, country music and I parted ways. I went backward, it went forward.

This brings me to another point. I think all songs should be recorded live in the studio, with minimal tracks and overdubs. The old AC/DC recordings are a great example. Put on some headphones and listen to "Shot down in flames." When the main guitar riff starts playing you can hear someone holler in the background and then Bonn Scott hollers himself. The band records their tracks at the same time, in the same room (at least they used to, I don't know about now) and they can react to one another. However many people are in the band, that's how many tracks there are, occasional overdubs not withstanding. Had they recorded their parts seperately, I think the records would've sounded very bland. Another example of what I'm talking about is the old recordings of Sinatra, Martin, Bennet et al. Most of those old recordings were only two tracks. One for the vocals and one for the band and everything you hear is coming from musicians. Those old recordings are incredible! One room, one gifted crooner and a big band. Now THAT'S music. Everyone involved was good at their job, rehearsed beforehand and probably only had to do a couple of takes before they nailed it. Digital production (I'm not talking about digital recording, just production) has only degraded music. It has been used as a crutch for people that don't rehearse or have talent. Songs should be ready to go before entering a studio. Writing songs while in a studio only kills any spontaneity and emotion that might have made the difference between getting an incredible recording or a bland, vanilla recording that sounds as empty as it is.

Service calls, uncertainty and ridiculous people.

2007-12-27T02:44:00.000-06:00

Part of my job as a diesel mechanic is to handle emergency road service. During business hours, we (the mechanics) are rotated so no one particular person is handling all the service calls. There are exceptions to this unwritten rule which are unavoidable. Sometimes a service call demands a specific skill from one of us, so occasionally someone will run two service calls in a row. In the warm months nobody complains about being out on the road all day because it's nice to get out of the shop and away from the drama. After the shop closes, however, the phone gets transferred to whoever is on call that week. Each mechanic does a tour of seven days on call, starting Friday night and ending the following Friday morning, when the shop opens. I hate being on call. I don't mind the service calls themselves, it's not knowing when they'll come in that irritates me. I'm one of those people who thrives on routine and dislikes uncertainty. I find it impossible to completely relax when I'm on call because I'm always waiting for the phone to ring. As soon as I forget about the phone, the damn thing will ring and off I go, into the night. Thankfully, we don't get too many calls after hours. When I do get a call, sometimes the price scares the caller away. Service calls for big trucks are expensive. Any service call from 17:00 to 08:00 is charged $90 for the call out and a minimum labor charge of two hours at $90/hour. That's $270 just for me to show up! Time over two hours will add to the cost (we bill labor from the time we leave the shop until the time we get back) and parts, obviously, will raise the price. When someone calls us and asks us to do a service call, we are very clear when telling them what kind of money is involved. It's shocking how many people don't understand. If a driver calls wanting a jump start, I'll show up, get the truck started and then hand him a bill. If I can get back to the shop within two hours from the time I left, the bill will be for $270. That's when the drivers get angry. They'll see me for only 20 to 30 minutes and think that they'll only be billed for that time. I then ask them if they drive for free. That usually clears things up fast. If they try to wheel and deal with me, I simply tell them that there is NO dealing. The price I give them is what they pay. Period. I then remind them that arguing will only waste time and make the bill increase in price. If that doesn't light a fire under their ass, I remind them that the work order which they had been told to read before signing (they sign the work order first thing upon my arrival) states that if they refuse to pay, we take possession of the equipment until they they pay for services rendered. If I work on the tractor, the trailer gets dropped where it sits and the tractor is then towed back to the shop. The driver can find his own ride. If things progress to this point, the driver is usually pretty hostile and I've already punched in the phone number for the state police and have only to hit the send button on my phone. I've also had incidents where I've handed the driver a bill for, say, $300 and they come back with "Oh gee, I only have $150 on me." Since they were told right when they called what the charges would be, I don't take any shit. I walk right up to the tractor, start disconnecting the air lines and light cord and go to pull the fifth wheel release. By then they know I'm not fucking around, and all of a sudden money is falling out of the woodwork. Thankfully, assholes that don't want to pay are fairly uncommon, but I do run into them. I like our charge accounts. There's no worrying about getting paid so we can just show up, repair the rig and send the driver on his way. Oh, I can't forget about the auto clubs. Every now and again some auto club will call up and ask if we can go do a jump start or change a tire. I love hearing the reactions of the operators when I tell them the prices. Places like AAA will, for the most part, expect you to do anything for $30 or less. If you know a towing operator, ask him or her what they think of AAA. They'll probably roll their eyes and say something sarcastic. Then there's the guys with one ton pickup trucks and the people with campers and boat trailers. They'll see our ad at a truck stop or in the yellow pages and focus on the "Heavy duty truck and trailer repair" part. They are just as shocked as the auto club people when they hear dollar amounts. The pickup dudes apparently don't realize that the "heavy duty" sticker on the side of their truck is only a marketing ploy. Sticker or not, a pickup is a light duty truck. The same goes for the boat trailers. In the summer, I get calls for trailer tires all the time. When I ask them what they have, expecting to hear something like "24 inch bud" and they'll say "Oh, a 15 inch six bolt." "Sorry, sir. We don't work on small stuff like that." They'll usually start griping about our ad and the trailer repair part. They calm down when I tell them how much it will cost for me to do the job. If I can get a tire. We simply don't stock parts for light duty vehicles. That's not our business. But, sometimes people are persistent.

The shop's owner never says "no" to the state patrol when they call, but I do. Last summer I had a dispatcher call me and ask if I could help a motorist out. I was told that the person had a flat tire on a boat trailer and couldn't get the wheel nuts loose. I asked if they could put me in contact with the driver so I could tell him how much it would cost. The dispatcher said she would relay the information. The guy must've flipped out when he found out how much it would cost him. He was only five miles from the shop, so I could've been out and back in under an hour. I understand that the state patrol was simply wanting to get a citizen back on the road, out of harms way, but I think that this driver had a right to know what the charges would be. Not to mention how the boss would chew me out if I didn't get paid. Well, if I went out I'd either get paid or I'd be pulling a boat trailer back to the shop. It's a freakin' circus sometimes.

I also get calls for jobs that I have no way of completing. I can't fix a rig if I don't have parts to put on it. Saturday nights, Sundays and holidays are tough times. If a driver calls wanting something like an airbag, I have to tell him that I won't be able to get parts until Monday. They don't understand that we're a truck repair shop and not a parts house. It's totally insane to think that we stock one of every part for every truck ever made. That's financially impossible. They'll ask "So, what do I do know?" Wait, that's what you'll have to do. I'll ask if they'd like me to come out and look things over and see if I can do something, making sure they know they'll have to pay me to show up, and then remind them that they'd be wasting money if I can't do anything. Over the years I've been doing this job, I've become jaded and callous. I used to feel bad when I couldn't do anything for a driver and would dwell on it for days afterward. Now, I don't give a shit. Things are black and white. That's all. Either I can help or I can't. It's that simple.

Career Blues pt. III

2007-11-22T18:07:00.000-06:00

Having accepted the mechanic's position, I wrote a resignation letter at work that night and dropped it onto the desk of the daycare center's director. The next day I was pulled into the director's office. Obviously, she was curious as to why I was leaving and I told her the truth. I told her that the job was taking its toll on me physically and mentally. She made an attempt to change my mind by offering me more pay, but nothing could keep me there. I'd found an escape hatch and there was no stopping me. I liked working there. The people, about 98% of them women (a lot of "lookers" if you know what I mean), were great but I didn't have the assistants that I needed. The last few days of my employment at the center were pretty easy. The director had hired a cleaning service to take over my job until they found a replacement for me. The owner of the cleaning service told me he couldn't believe that I was doing all that work by myself! I told him that having spent four years there, two and one half of those without any help, I'd learned a lot of shortcuts and that some non-essential tasks were simply not done. My daily routine had been pared down to the minimum. That minimal routine still took ten to eleven hours! My very last day some of the women got a bit misty-eyed. I found that to be odd, but years later I realized why some of them were sad. You see, I'd become a part of their "normal" day and they had become part of mine. People find comfort in routine and become anxious when faced with uncertainty. Now I was leaving and breaking that routine. I was leaving the good times, the good people... the familiar and trading them in for uncertainty and anxiety. This was in August of 1999 and the change had begun.

I took a few days off between jobs so I could rest my weary body. I also needed to gather all of the tools that, for the most part, remained untouched since my last job as a mechanic in 1992. I cleaned out my tool box and put everything in its proper place, locked it up and rolled it back into my Mom's garage. The night before I started my new job I loaded my tool box into my truck and went home to try and get some sleep. Sleep didn't come easy. I had a thousand things running through my mind, most of them concerning whether or not I could handle the new job. The drop in self esteem which occurred after being fired in 1992 came back to haunt me. The one job I had failed at left its mark on me and wouldn't go away. In fact, I'm still affected by it today, but not as bad as it was back then. Anyway, I woke up the next morning (I hadn't worked a morning in years) and drove up the interstate to my new place of employment. My best friend was there to meet me and he took me back to the shop and introduced me to the guys I'd be working with. The first mechanic I met was Rob. I didn't know it at the time, but Rob would play a major role in my rebirth as a mechanic. He was about seventeen years older than me and was as cool as a cucumber. Over the next six years we'd become good friends. Rob was very calm and helpful as I wobbled my way back into being a mechanic. One of those first days, as Rob was finding out what I could do, he told me to change a tire. I rolled the new tire over to the tire machine, put the wheel onto the machine and promptly stopped. I had forgotten how to operate a tire machine! It was then that I realized how much I had forgotten. I was, basically, starting from scratch and I panicked. Luckily, the corporate fleet supervisor, Tim, knew that I was rusty. Tim and Scott (Scott was the new shop supervisor that started a week after I did) gave me menial tasks to find out what I could do and eventually assigned me to more difficult tasks as I progressed. After holding that job for a whole year I felt as if I'd turned a corner in my life. Though I was still suffering from the effects of the '92 debacle, I started to believe that I was good at my job. I had succeeded in holding that job! Life was good and I was happy. More stories from what I lovingly refer to as "The happy time" will come in the next installment.

The nature of a mechanic

2007-10-27T20:28:00.000-05:00

When I'm at work I only want my shift to be over with so I can go home. I spend my time at work thinking about things other than fixing trucks. I think about building stuff out of wood, spending time in my favorite flight sims, mowing the lawn etc. I don't want to fix anything because that's all I do at work. Fix things. You know what? That doesn't always happen. I think there's two kinds of people that work as mechanics, those who enjoy the challenge of fixing things and those who are there because it's a job. As much as I'd like to deny it, I fit into the first category. As mechanics we feel the need to fix things when they're broken. We can't avoid it even if we try.
For example, I'll tell you a little story. Last December I was traveling to my sister's house for Christmas and pulled into a truck stop to take a break. I topped off my fuel tank and went inside to take a leak and get a soda. On my way back out I noticed a trucker parked off to the side with his hood up. I wondered what was wrong, but continued walking to my car. As I was starting to leave I thought about his situation and felt a bit guilty. He was probably wanting only to finish his run so he could get back home to his family and now his truck's broken. I turned around, pulled up next to him and asked him what was wrong. From what he said I quickly determined that his fuel had gelled (it was very cold that day). He mentioned that he had new fuel filters and knew how to change them, but didn't really know how to deal with gelled fuel. He accepted my offer to help and went into the truck stop to get the fuel liquifier I told him to buy. In short, I got his truck running. He was grateful for the help and offered me some cash. I politely refused. I told him some BS about it being Christmas and he could repay me by doing a good deed for someone else who needed help. Part of my helping him was due to something my father had said to me, "If you can help someone, help them." The real reason I helped this guy is that I love the feeling I get when I fix something.
The other side of this is when it's my turn to be on call to handle the weekend and after hours emergency road service. I hate it. I enjoy helping people, but only at my convenience. Not in the middle of the night. Even though I gripe when someone calls for a service call, I'm fine once I'm on the job.

I miss my brother

2007-10-27T04:17:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I do this to myself. I was browsing my mp3s to make a playlist for tonight and there it was, staring back at me. I know why it's there and I also know why I don't listen to it much. The song I'm writing about is Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run." The reason I don't play it much is this. I cry every time I hear it. That song was a favorite of my brother, Mark. This coming February will be five years since he died. Every time I look through my music I see "Born to Run" sitting there, in the place assigned to it, the "B" section. I'll stare at it for a few minutes while I try and make up my mind whether or not to put myself through four minutes and thirty one seconds of guaranteed grief. The emotions that I experience while listening to that song are difficult to explain, but have been experienced by everyone at some time. I usually start out smiling, remembering the good times. Then the memory of his deteriorating health nudge their way in and I start to get misty eyed. Eventually, against my choice to not go there, I remember that he's gone. By this time I'm sobbing like a child. Mark was twelve years older than me which made him a prominent figure in my life. He'd been a diabetic since his early childhood. I didn't understand exactly what diabetes was until I was much older, but since I grew up around it, the things Mark went through were normal to me. The possibility that diabetes could kill him never really entered my mind. I knew that when he went into shock things were pretty scary, but he always came through. I can't remember when he moved out, but he was living in the next county for his last fifteen years or so. My mother would call him every night mainly to make sure he was awake and going to work. Sometimes he wouldn't answer and that caused quite a commotion. We wouldn't know whether he was in shock or just not answering because he was in the shower. Sometimes Mom would drive all the way there if he didn't answer the phone or call my sister because she lived in the same town. We all knew that Mark didn't like the "baby sitting" and we respected his desire for independence, but if we didn't do what we did, he could've been dead much earlier in life. Towards the end of his life there were a lot of drives to Mark's to pull him out of a reaction. It put a strain on everyone's lives but what could we do? We weren't going to let him die. After one particularly bad night I remember telling Mom that even though things can get scary at times, we'd miss them if Mark was gone. Unfortunately, I was right. One cold night at the end of February, 2003, Mark didn't answer his phone. My Mom drove up to Mark's place and found him in his bed. He'd slipped the bonds of this earth and was free of all the pain he'd been suffering. I was numb for the next few days. Nothing seemed to phase me much. I cried at his funeral but that was about it. That is, until we set about cleaning out his place and packing up his belongings. I was going through his desk, sorting through what was trash and what was going to be kept, when I found a letter from my late grandmother. I don't remember the specifics, but grandma was helping Mark through some tough times, offering encouragement etc. and I lost it. I couldn't stop crying and continued to do so for about half an hour. Going through the rest of his things was very difficult because each thing I saw only made me miss him even more. It's a terrible feeling when you miss someone so much and know that you'll never, ever see them again. I've only been to his grave twice. Even five years after his death it still hurts too much to go. When "Born to Run" comes through my headphones, everything I remember about Mark comes flooding back. Good and bad. I miss my brother.

Career blues pt. 2

2007-10-14T06:11:00.001-05:00

In the waning months of my grocery store job, my sister had realized that I was not very happy there. She had been working at a very high class day care center and they needed a "maintenance man" (read "janitor"). The thought of cleaning toilets and mopping floors for a living didn't appeal to me. The place was in the next county and an hour long commute didn't appeal to me either, but I was desperate. I took a deep breath and called the director of the center to set up an interview. The interview went well and I was hired. I gave my boss at the grocery store the standard two week notice and hoped for the best. I wanted that job to go on, but it wasn't going to happen. The day came when I had to leave the store, and all my friends there, behind. I was scared and excited at the same time. I was going to work at a place far away from all that I had ever known and where I wouldn't know anyone except my sister.

I started my job at the center being trained by the teen-aged children of the accountant. Angela and Craig had been doing the cleaning while a permanent janitor was being found. I liked those kids. They, like their mother, were hard workers and very dependable. Craig quit soon after I started so he could pay more attention to football and school, but Angela stayed on for another year until she graduated from high school. In that first year I had gotten to know the rest of the staff and was very comfortable there. I was surprised to find that the rest of the staff, all college graduates mind you, treated me as one of their peers. I was at a job where I was given a large of amount of responsibility. I worked at night, mostly alone, and was responsible for the whole place. I had to do weekly tests of the sprinkler and smoke detector systems, which I didn't think much of until I realized that a couple hundred kids, from infants to six year olds, could be harmed if that system failed. Holy crap! I also got sick frequently. Whatever ailment was going around, I got. Pink eye, sinus infections, all sorts of cold and flu viruses... after four years of that job, my immune system was in top notch order. My third year at the center was a big change. I was supposed to have had a full time assistant and frequently did for the first two years, but the third year... I was it. I had a couple of part time assistants, but they came and went so fast that I never really got to know them. The work was also starting to take its toll on my body. Remember, this was a daycare center, all the sinks, toilets, drinking fountains etc., were down low. So, I was on my knees all the time and they began to hurt all the time. I was also doing the work of two people. At my two year review, I was put on salary instead of an hourly based pay. I didn't think much of it because at the time, I'd had an assistant. Then I was alone, working ten to eleven hours a night and only getting payed for eight. There was also the one hour commute to work and the one hour commute home to deal with. It got to the point where I was either sleeping or at work with no time for anything else. I'd also gotten involved with one of the staff. At this point and she was still married. That added some mental aches to the physical aches I'd already had. By year number four, I was looking for an escape. What had started as a good job had turned into hell. I had a short span of relief when the husband of another staff member came in to help me a few hours each day. He said he needed the extra money, but I'm sure that he and his wife saw how run down I was becoming. To this day, I have high regards for Haley and Chris. They were (and I believe still are) good people. I was scouring the classifieds desperately looking for another job. I was ready to take almost any position I could get. Working on cars was not an option. By this time I'd forgotten most of what I had known about fixing cars and didn't think there was a shop that would want to take a chance by hiring me. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was at a dead end. I was miserable. The only thing that made me happy was my girlfriend at the time. But, that was a double edged sword. I'll write about her in a future post. I hated my job and thought that there was no way out. Then Peter showed up at the center.

Peter has been my best friend since I was fifteen. We had lost contact for awhile when he was in college and had been living in other parts of the state. Peter had been living in the same city as the center I was working in and we saw each other every now and again. One day, he called while I was working. I asked him what he was doing and where he was at. He was right outside the center! He'd come to visit me a couple of times, but this time was different. He was working for a courier company and had just made a delivery to the business next door. He asked me if I'd ever thought about being a mechanic again. I told him that I thought I was washed up as a mechanic. He didn't think so. He told me that the company he worked for needed mechanics and that he thought I would fit the bill. I told Peter that I'd think about it and would get back to him. I thought about it for a few days and asked my family and friends for advice. Their advice pretty much said "Go for it." I called Peter and got the phone number of the corporate fleet supervisor, Tim. I nervously dialed the number and for the first time, I spoke with the man that would change my life. I met Tim for an informal interview at the shop. We talked about what the job entailed, how the company worked and about my experience. I was completely honest with him. I told him about getting fired and the shame I had having failed at my career. I also told him that I didn't think that I was going to be good enough to do the job. He thought otherwise. That same day, I was sent into the HR department for a formal interview. A few days later Tim called me and told me that the job was mine if I wanted it. I didn't hesitate and said "I'll take it!" I was again scared, excited and heading for the unknown. What was laying ahead of me was the best job I've had to date and I'll cover that in part three.

Career blues pt. 1

2007-10-14T04:44:00.001-05:00

I remember the day during my senior year of high school when my counselor pulled me aside and asked me this question. "So, have you given any thought to what you want to do after high school?" It was as if someone had reached out and smacked me in the face. I had given no thought to what I might do after high school. I can't explain why, but back then I lived in the "here and now" with no consideration given to my future. I looked at my counselor and said "I want to be a mechanic." There's days when I regret saying those words. Maybe at the time I didn't think I was capable of anything else. My grades would certainly not be good enough to get me into a university. Besides, I wasn't good at anything except playing drums and percussion.

I went on to tech school and learned the ins and outs of being an auto tech. I was well trained and enjoyed the shop classes. The other mandatory courses bored me to tears because they were nothing but an extension, and in some cases a repeat, of what I'd already done in high school. I never did get a diploma because I simply stopped attending a math class. I don't regret it. I got decent grades in my classes, but wasn't an outstanding student by any means. These days I understand why certain classes were included in the curriculum, but generally speaking the whole automotive program was lacking. The program was designed, of course, to train people like me to go out into the workplace ready to go at it. It didn't work out that way. The classes were excellent and I was a whiz at diagnosing all sorts of problems on cars. I loved the challenge and was hungry for every problem that could be thrown my way. I would diagnose problems, kick their ass and get the car going again. What I found when I actually got out into the real world woke me up in a hurry.

Bam! I landed my first mechanic's job a few months before I got out of tech school. Full of piss and vinegar, this hot shot mechanic was ready to take on everything that was driven, pushed or towed into the shop. What I got was a rude awakening. I had the skills and knowledge, but I had zero experience. I found out that shops can't afford to let a newbie mechanic run wild. I changed oil and tires then worked my way up (?) to exhaust and brakes. I had to pay my dues so to speak. This was when I started to realize that I wasn't prepared well for the real world. With rare exceptions, new mechanics will start out with menial tasks. That sucks. I was doing work that any person off the street could do with a little training. I thought my skills were being wasted. Being a cocky nineteen year old, I left that job after a few months. I went to a shop where a few of my former classmates were working. It was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made, but didn't realize it at the time. Hindsight is 20/20 after all, isn't it? I was blinded by a brand new shop filled with new equipment and the promise of good money. That job was total chaos. I had to do things that I wasn't trained to do and had to learn on the fly. I made mistakes. The shop manager finally realized that I was good at what I had been trained to do and I found myself doing alignments and air conditioning work. For a short time I was happy. Then I got fired. One of the untrained "shade tree" mechanics that worked there started a water pump job, went to lunch and never came back. Guess who got picked to finish the job? Thats right, me. I had never replaced a water pump. That sounds crazy considering I had two years of training at tech school and a few semesters of training in high school, but apparently my instructors never thought it necessary to teach us how to repair things like that. They didn't teach us simple things such as the necessity of using thread locker on fan clutch bolts. The fan came off the water pump that I installed and destroyed the radiator. Because of that I lost my job. What worried me most was going home and telling my father that I had been fired. I felt like a total failure.

At my first auto job the shop manager, Wally, was purposely giving me simple tasks. He wanted to see what I could do, and prevent me from making stupid mistakes such as I'd made with that water pump job. I should have swallowed my pride and went back to Wally to see if I could have my job back. I didn't. I was still a proud (and cocky) nineteen year old. What's a guy to do in that situation? I went back to the grocery store I had worked in while I attended tech school and begged my old boss for a job. Luckily he had a spot for me.

That grocery store job wasn't exactly what I had in mind for a career, but I was good at my job. My coworkers were mostly people I had worked with before so I fell right back into things. We were a family there and I was very happy when they welcomed me back into the fold. As an example of the qualities of my coworkers, I'll tell this short story. During my employment at the store, my father had died from cancer. I took a week off for the funeral to be with my family. Some of my coworkers came to the funeral to support me. None of them had ever met my father. When I returned to work, they all gave their condolences and presented me with a sympathy card which every person had signed. I'd signed cards like that for some of my coworkers, but never knew how much that act of kindness meant until I had been in their shoes. I miss those people. During my first year back at the grocery store my boss from my first auto job, Wally, called me out of the blue and asked me if I'd be interested in working for him again. I was uncomfortable talking to him because I had bailed out on him. Wally convinced me to have lunch with him and talk things over. I told him the whole story and expected him to politely retract his job offer because I had failed at being a mechanic. That wasn't the case, he was very understanding and I think that he might have had similar experiences in his younger days. He needed a mechanic and wanted me because I already knew the system and could be dropped right back into place without having to be retrained. I almost accepted his offer but, in my mind, I saw myself as a failure and was also sick of changing jobs. I politely declined his offer and stayed at the grocery store. I held all sorts of positions at that store, mostly as second shift manager. Not bad for a twenty year old, eh? The money was okay, but they worked me hard. I'd been there a bit less than four years when I realized the ship was sinking. The place was going under and people were bailing out left and right. I became angry. My last six months there, I had been working in the meat department and had just become an apprentice meat cutter. It wasn't exactly what I wanted to do with my life, but I found something I was good at and could make a career out of. I wanted to ride it out until the last, but realized that I was going to need a new job, and fast. My sister came to my rescue. I'll pick the next phase up in part 2.

Introduction

2007-10-13T22:49:00.001-05:00

Hi there, I'm Hopper1. I'm a mid-thirties diesel mechanic from the upper mid west. I'm new here at this place, but I've been a blogger before. I had a website with a friend that we ran for a long time, and this was where I started blogging. I found blogging, which wasn't called blogging back then (I called them my "articles"), to be very therapeutic. It was a way for me to get things off of my chest when life got to be a little too much to handle. I worked very hard on my portion of that website and tried to make things as easy as possible. A couple of years ago, I undertook a major revision, from the ground up, and it tanked. Everything looked great, from the background images and navigation bars that I made in Photoshop, to the HTML. When I uploaded it to the server... none of my articles appeared. I tried and tried to find the problem, going so far as to print out the html so I could check it over on my lunch breaks. I even had other people check things over. Nothing worked, so I left what was left to wither away on the vine. I've found myself to have become a loner due to having lived alone and worked the night shift for so many years. Some relationships have also scarred me to the point where I find it best to avoid serious connections with people other than my family and a handful of close friends. Thus, I can become quite lonely at times. This occasional loneliness is of my own making so I don't gripe about it. But, sometimes a person needs to vent. The internet is where I can do it. Under a veil of self imposed anonymity. My current job creates many blog-worthy stories that I intend to write about. If I remember them... You might find them interesting or you might find them boring. Honestly, I don't care. I blog for me first and if other people enjoy it, well, that's just icing on the cake.