26 May, 2018

Find An Engineer

In modern terminology I'm a mechanic.  I'm not fond of that name, but it's what the general public knows me as.  In the Victorian and Edwardian eras I would have been called an "engineer" and I quite like that term.  Let me equate the mechanic/engineer divide with something you may have more experience with, the medical trades.  A modern mechanic would equate to a CNA.  A Victorian engineer would be a full-on MD.  I feel that I've earned the right to call myself an engineer.  When you consider the shop classes I've had, my time spent in tech school, the years I've worked the trade and the other related things I've studied on my own time... I'm an engineer.  The average "mechanic" these days is usually a parts replacer.  Sure, some computer stuff comes into it, but the average mechanic isn't going to understand much of it.  Connect the scan tool, see some code for some part, replace the part, didn't work... The job then goes to the older guys.  The engineers.  The guys who have bothered to learn how things actually work and why.  The parts replacers are concerned about beating book time so they can move on to the next job and beat the book time there.  It's about making money.  Concern about the actual cause of the problem and the customer are secondary. 

You've probably experienced that kind of scenario.  The "check engine light" (CEL) comes on in your car, you take it to a shop, the shop you've always gone to for oil changes and brake jobs, it's "fixed", you give them your hard-earned money and go on your merry way.  Two days later, that damned CEL comes on again.  You go back to the shop and explain your situation.  Turns out it's the same problem you had the first time 'round.  You don't get billed for the labor but you'll have to pay for some other part.  You go on your way again and... CEL comes back.  Another trip to the shop, you raise hell (rightfully so) and they promise you it will be taken care of this time.  Third time's a charm, right? 

You drop your vehicle, in the morning, for a third time.  Noon comes and you don't hear anything from the shop.  The previous two visits you had heard back from the shop around lunch time.  15:00 rolls by and you still haven't had a call back.  You call the shop for an update and get some generic explanation and are informed that your car will have to remain at the shop through the next day.  You're pissed (rightfully so) because you now have to find a way home that day and also get a ride to work the next day.  That third evening you're fuming.  You have the shop's Facebook page open and have already written a scathing review, but have yet to click the "post now" button.  You're angry, you've been in a pickle because you don't have any wheels, you think "All they have to do is hook the (it's always "the" instead of "a") computer up to it and they'll know what's wrong?"  Allow me to throw that back to you.

Let's say you're the VP of a local brewing company.  What if I told you your job just involved showing up in a company polo shirt and looking into large vats?  What if you are a network engineer and I told you your job was just moving cables from one place to another and sitting in front of a computer all day?  You would probably be thinking that I have no clue as to what your job entails and that I was an idiot for not knowing.  Well, then, don't go assuming about my job.  You may have a batch of beer that is completely wrong, you make corrections, the second batch is better but not quite right.  The stations in one part of the building may go dead, you make some tweaks and some stations start working, you make more tweaks... Your mechanic is no different.

Here's what's happening at your shop.  The first time you drop it off with a CEL complaint, the first available mechanic may (or may not) verify the CEL is on.  A scan tool of some sort gets connected (with the appropriate "connection" fee, those scan tools are expensive) and the mechanic sees some sort of codes.  The mechanic will do some quick reasoning and recommend replacing some sort of sensor/part.  The service writer calls you for approval and you, not knowing shit, approves the "repair" (which is a "most likely" kind of guess, but you don't know that) and you're picking up your car only to have the same problem a day or two later. 

The second visit to the shop, the same mechanic is going to be given the job (Yay!) and that mechanic will spend more than ten minutes "diagnosing" the problem.  Whatever part seems most relevant will get replaced.  You pick up your car, no charge for the labor but you do have to pay for the part.  A day or two later the CEL comes back on.  Same problem.  You're really pissed now.  You give the service writer a piece of you mind and leave the shop with steam coming out of your ears.  The service writer is now sick of having some raving bitch/lunatic asshole reaming them up and down, so the job is picked up and handed directly to the "old guy".  The "engineer".  The guy who spends his lunch breaks doing crossword puzzles and pondering the operation of triple expansion steam engines.  The puzzle solver.  Every decent shop has that guy.

The "old guy" has probably read a lot more books than you, the fancy-pants executive, have read.  You, the six figure executive, can't figure out why your lawn mower won't start (it's out of gas), while the "old guy" has already mowed his lawn and is reading a book about England's "Black Country".  But that doesn't matter.  You have a university education.  These mechanics are obviously not competent and you should get all of your money back.  The "old guy" disagrees, but won't tell you how much of an ass you're being.  The "old guy" will smile, tell you what he thinks the problem is and then offer to show you what he's found.  The "old guy" knows you're pissed, he's been in the business long enough to know how fucked up it is, but he wants you to be involved in the process.  He wants to show you why, and where, your money is being spent.  The "old guy" will be completely honest with you, "This is going to be really expensive..." and he'll let you make the decision.  You wonder "Why the hell didn't this guy work on my car in the first place?"

Repair shops aren't much different than other businesses.  Except for the flat rate system.  Imagine you were a building contractor and were asked to provide an estimate to put an addition on a house.  You would take the time and materials into consideration, allow a little buffer etc.  Now imagine that some organization had already made that estimate for you.  That organization said you could bill twenty hours for that addition.  You look at the house, the steep roof angle, the shitty grading and think "I can't do that in twenty hours?"  Well, welcome to the flat rate system repair shops operate under.  Times are provided for almost all automotive repairs and that's what the mechanic gets paid for.  If the job bills three hours, the mechanic gets paid for three hours.  Even if it takes him eight hours to do it.  The mechanic would lose a LOT of pay.  Conversely, if the job pays three hours and it's done in one hour, the mechanic gets paid for three hours.  It's a fucked up system that has only widened the gap between customer and mechanic.  The customer and the mechanic both want to come out ahead.  Doesn't always work that way. 

Your first visit to the shop is the mechanic rolling the dice.  Throw some parts at the problem and it may work.  Mechanic comes out ahead.  Second visit, the mechanic is trying to break even so he spends a bit more time and throws another part at it.  No good.  You're back for that third, "old guy" visit.  The shop knows you're a regular, they don't want to lose all of those money-making oil changes and brake jobs, so they appease you.  The job goes to the "old guy". 

The "old guy", the "engineer" knows that the shit has hit the fan and the problem has to be solved come hell or high water.  He bothers to take the time to actually follow the diagnostic procedures for whatever problem turned that CEL on.  It takes time to go through those procedures.  You've met the engineer, he's shown you what he's found and he's explained to you what needs to be done.  "I'll need to have your car for another day.  Is that okay?"  You may even get a call from that engineer the next day, explaining the problem he found, the repair involved and (roughly) what it will cost you.  The "old guy" will have already figured out the cost of labor (realistically, not book time) and parts so as to give you an honest answer.  You complain about the frustration of the first two visits (rightfully so) and that the problem should have been fixed the first time (think about your own job and your own success rate) and the "old guy" is just saying "yes sir/yes ma'am I understand.  Sometimes these problems aren't quite so cut and dried...."  You calm down a bit, reluctantly give approval, you don't expect anything to be different...  You pick up your car the next day, pay the bill for a few parts, a can of brake cleaner and some zip ties... but only half an hour of labor.  You know the "old guy" had to have spent more time on the job than half an hour.  What gives? 

The "old guy" had been paying attention to the job from your first visit.  He knows the younger guys are all about the money.  He knows they don't have a clue about the long-term survival for a shop.  The "old guy" bills half an hour because he knows the other mechanics should have figured shit out.  He wants you to come back.  The "old guy" knows once you've found a mechanic you "trust", regardless of whether or not they're the "cheapest" mechanic in town, you'll come back for more work. 

The "old guy" knows how things are supposed to work.  He understands how electricity works, he understands the basic physics of hydraulics (can't compress a liquid), but the "old guy" was a parts replacer at the beginning of his career.  Tech school can only teach so much.  The rest is on the individual.  The good engineers are constantly reading, constantly wondering "how does that work?" and constantly learning anything they can.  Always learning.  Sure, they have to make money.  Families need to be cared for.

You're going to go through a lot of mechanics and parts replacers before you find the "old guy" engineer, but once you find that guy, stick with him.  He may not be the cheapest, but your money will be well spent. 

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