30 October, 2010

I'm Gullible

Good God I am so freakin' gullible sometimes. This weekend has been completely ruined and what stings most is that it's my fault. I've always looked forward to Halloween and especially when it falls on a weekend. Since I work nights I'm usually unable to enjoy Halloween unless it happens to fall on a weekend. Last year I was supposed to have Halloween off, but one of the other mechanics quit which screwed up the service call rotation. I got screwed out of Halloween and found myself fixing a tractor alongside a railroad instead of having a good time. This year I was, again, going to have Halloween off. One of the other mechanics screwed things up and it was looking like I was going to get fucked again. I had plans to spend the 30th (a Saturday) with a lady friend out at the bars looking at all the people who had dressed up for the holiday. I worked ten straight days on call just so I would have this weekend free. I was really looking forward to seeing my friend and had been counting the days. All the while I had in the back of my mind the nagging thought that she'd bail on me. I dismissed it think that she knew what I had gone through to have this weekend free and how important it was to me. This afternoon I got "the call". She couldn't make it. Said she wasn't feeling well enough. Granted she's been ill for the past three weeks, but even my offer to drive to her was kind of shot down. It just reeks of an excuse to get out of it. There was no point in getting angry with her. I just said that I was disappointed and that it would be another two weeks before I was free again. Some friend. So here I sit, plans ruined for the second Halloween in a row and fuming over the whole thing. Halloween will not come on a weekend again until 2015! To say that I'm not even a little pissed off would be a lie. Mostly, I'm pissed at myself for thinking she would actually be here. I am such a fool... Why do I even make plans for anything anymore?

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